Sixteen years ago today, I nearly died. Because we live in a random universe, and bodies are imperfect, and sometimes, for no reason at all, they go wrong, I ended up in a hospital fighting for my life, battling an infection that had exploded unseen until it was far too late.
That I am here today is a testament to the fact that very smart people go to medical school, young people can bring new and innovative ideas to the (operating) table, God was not done with me yet, and I have a strong will to live. The prayers of many uplifted me, the memory of the dozens of cards I received still overwhelms me, and the number of people who remembered me with flowers, calls, and visits was truly humbling. There is no way to adequately express how being showered with that kind of love gives you courage to continue fighting what, at times, seems like too difficult of an uphill climb.
Having an experience like that changes your perspective on the world. I look for joy each day, because I am here to experience it. I appreciate my children and my mom even more; they gave me the incentive to keep fighting. I love my friends deeply, because they helped me immeasurably when I needed them most.
It is clarifying, to face death and then to live. It allows you to sort through your life and see what is at the top of your list. There were no surprises for me. I already knew my family was the most important thing in my world, and that didn't change. I knew that my friends were the best ever, and I was right. Small things matter. More than almost anything.
So today, in the midst of the turmoil of the world, I am just thankful to be alive, grateful for the people who stood by me in the worst of life. I am deeply appreciative of my friend who brought me a toothbrush and brushed my messy hair so I could feel human again. I am beyond grateful to my friend who yelled at the hospital staff to get me some pain relief when they had lost sight of what was going on. I cannot begin to express the deep love and obligation I feel to my mother, who dropped everything to come and nurse me back to health one tiny piece of food at a time, and who held me tight when it didn't go so well. My kids are the best, and encouraged me to jump start my life again when I was still recuperating. I didn't have time to dawdle because I had to be a mom. I am so grateful for the surgeon who didn't have much time for chit chat, but literally saved my life. He was no talk and all action, which is exactly what I needed. (I still can't believe he was old enough to be a surgeon, but that might be my age talking....) I still miss my Meow, who laid next to me and comforted me all day and all night while I was recovering. The list is much longer, friends who came by and brought food and laughter and encouragement, people who prayed, those who gave needed advice and those who tried to help. All played a part in my recovery, and I have not forgotten any of it.
When you are feeling overwhelmed by everything that is going on in the world today, take a deep breath, and give yourself a moment to remember what really matters. If you have what I had 16 years ago, you have everything you need. Perspective is everything.
