And justice for all

We are watching the Epstein cover up continue to dribble on in slow motion, and we can only hope we are a long ways from the conclusion of this case, because if we aren't, there is going to be yet another cover up, and that is just not acceptable, or it shouldn't be to anyone calling themselves a morally upright person.  I just read a meme that really hit for me.  It said something along the lines of how pathetic it is that a 15 minute halftime show at a football game has garnered more national attention than the Epstein case.  While not exactly true, I think every single woman who has ever been the victim of a sexual assault feels that to her very soul.

Social realities

One of the most interesting aspects of social media is that it gives you a perceived access to celebrities where you believe you know them more personally than you do, and your opportunities for illusion (and delusion) is thus proportionately higher.  There are a lot of examples of this, but I will give one from my own recent experience which is a reminder of the danger of how seeing is not necessarily believing in this day and age.

You are enough....

I am not quite sure how it happened, but I got into a cycle of reels on my facebook account while I was scrolling recently, and while it would seem I have nothing in common with the subject, I have been quite surprised to find that, on the contrary, I have quite a lot of unexpected understanding.  The reels are from the TLC show Curvy Brides, which was on some time ago, and was hosted by Jo Cooke and Alison Law, who are, I have to say, amazing life coaches, in addition to the bridal consulting they were doing.

The premise is that plus sized brides deserve to have choices in making the most important clothing selection of their lives without fear or judgement, and their boutique in Essex provides that.  My heart has repeatedly broken watching these videos, as beautiful young women reveal to Jo and especially Ali their fears, lack of body confidence, feeling unloved because of their weight, etc.  What has surprised me, though, is how much I relate to everything they are saying.  Every single word resonates for me.

Iceburg in a Titanic World...

 Many years ago, I was going through a very difficult time in my life.  A lot of people had a lot of opinions on what was happening, but very few of those people knew much of the story, much less the whole story.  Even my closest friends didn't really know everything, because you never really do, right?  Closed doors don't just keep people out.  They also serve as barriers to keep people in, and when we are in messy places, all too often we want to hide the mess behind a barrier, because, you know, people are judgy, and who needs that when you are already judging yourself?

Anyway, I just read something that really resonated for me, and thought I would share a few thoughts about it.  

You don't owe anyone your story.  Let me repeat, with emphasis.  You. Don't. Owe. Anyone. Your. Story.

Burdens of the heart...

I have been watching a show recently that has slowly changed my entire vision of empathy.  I am a naturally empathetic person, I think, and my life has had some hard moments, which give me insight into other people's painful situations which accentuate that trait.  So it is generally easy for me to feel empathy for others.  But in watching this show about people struggling with a condition that is completely unfamiliar to me, I find myself in new territory.  And I have had a slow realization.

We do not have to walk a mile in someone's shoes to understand their pain is real.  In fact, it makes no difference at all if we have any idea of what they are going through.  Because their pain is real to them, and it should still matter to us, if we have any ounce of humanity in us.  Even if we don't understand it, have never felt it, can't relate to it, even if we don't think its that big of a deal, even, and this is the big one here for me, because I tend to engage in a lot of self-blame, if it is self-inflicted, their pain is still legitimate, its still big to them, and its still a burden on their heart.  Isn't that really all we need to know?