People say the darnedest things. I am frequently amazed at what I hear while walking through WalMart, or at the grocery store, or waiting in a line. I sometimes wonder if people have forgotten they are not surrounded by the walls of a phone booth, but instead, are out in public, where everyone can hear them.
Over the years, I have learned about the suspected affairs of people I don't know. I have heard about people's operations and gotten medical histories that their own doctors would envy. I have been subjected to the parental disciplining of a teenager, and pillow talk that would make me blush in my own bedroom. All without a second thought from the person on my end of the phone, who never considered for a single moment that I was being forced to eavesdrop on a conversation in which I had no interest, and took no part.
I occasionally muse, as I am being auditorily assaulted by yet another conversation in which I am unwillingly forced to participate, what would happen if I weighed in with my own opinion, volunteering solutions or suggesting alternatives to whatever situation is under discussion. Would that person be offended, or would they welcome the additional input, especially if I happened to agree with them? I have never had the nerve to find out, but one of these days, I am going to do it. If you can't beat them, join them, right?
I am a big fan of silence. Not the Simon and Garfunkel kind, which is silence to keep us isolated, but the real deal, the genuine sound of silence, that allows us to fully partake in the world. When I am home alone, I often sit with no radio, no television, no sound to disturb me, and enjoy the silence. I think better without the clutter of unnecessary sound reverberating in my brain. The cacophony of noise disrupts my thought process and distracts me from hearing what's inside my head. The old cliche, I can't hear myself think, is literally true most of the time when I am in public these days.
Pay attention the next time you are out of the house. Even in places usually acknowledged to be quiet, there is constant noise.
At the library, you hear not only shuffling of feet, but children talking, someone giving a presentation, bathrooms flushing, computer keys clicking, books dropping - the list goes on and on. Each sound, by itself, isn't much, but added together, it's a compendium of noisiness.
At church, you expect, at a minimum, quiet from the congregation during the sermon, but it seems every Sunday it gets noisier and noisier. Is it just me, or do parents of young children today have no concept whatsoever of keeping their children quiet in public places? I recently attended a Sunday morning service in which the three children behind us talked the entire time. Not only they did talk non-stop, and without any attempts at control by their parents, they did it in a normal voice, like they were at home or at the park or at some event where their talking was acceptable. When their parents were confronted with their rudeness, they got angry for having it pointed out.
While the circumstances under which it occurred were not ideal, the more I have thought about that incident the more irritated I feel. They blamed someone for noticing and pointing out that they were failing to control the disruptive behavior of their children, rather than blaming themselves for the situation arising in the first place.
That's typical of our victim society, I think. We never want to be held accountable for anything, no matter who we are, no matter what we have done. Everyone from the president to the homeless refuse to acknowledge that sometimes, we are the cause of our own downfall We are forever a victim, it's never our fault, and shame on you for noticing.
I really wonder what those children are going to be like when they grow up? They were not all tiny toddlers, the eldest had to be six or seven, so it's an entrenched behavior, one that will not go away without a lot of effort. Will those kids believe they have a God given right to talk over their teachers, since they believe they have a right to talk over their pastor? Will they keep talking, even when their boss is telling them what to do? Do the rights of other people have no place any more in our calculations of what is appropriate and what is unacceptable behavior, especially in the public realm?
I find it interesting that when airlines began the discussion of people using cell phones in flight, the public seems to have drawn a line. Apparently, even the most salacious cell users realized that their right to talk about any thing, any time, any where, will be infringed upon by the right of the person sharing their arm rest to do the same. I get a headache just thinking about it.
Physicians are concerned that our younger generation will grow up to have much earlier hearing loss because of their constant use of headphones, but I have to be honest, better theirs than mine. I remember a time in the not so distant past when people carried boom boxes everywhere, and we were subjected to other people's tastes in music wherever we went. You could not escape from the tremor of bass shaking the floor, or even the ground. The music would blast, and on an especially unlucky day, you might have dueling banjos, or at least, dueling booms. Give me headphones. Please. At least they are only hurting themselves, and there are no unwilling victims along for the ride.
I am concerned about the ability of our younger generation to be in silence, without the crutch of sound to keep them entertained. They have been inundated with sounds since they were born, and most of us failed to allow for them to absorb the silence into their psyche. Now they want constant action, constant activity, constant stimulation, or they are bored, incapable of spending ten minutes alone with themselves.
I have seen the reaction when a phone is confiscated for some infraction. They are paralyzed, incapable of functioning without the constant connectivity. They think its a right to yak on the phone for hours on end, and will resentfully fight off anyone who disagrees.
When I was a kid, I slept all summer long with the windows open, letting out the heat of the day and allowing the fresh air to come in. I fell asleep to the noisy chatter of crickets, the scurry of occasional feet outside, the hiss of cats yowling at each other in warning, and rarely the sound of a car driving by, gravel crunching under their tires. Although I loved the summer and it's fresh air, I was also relieved when fall arrived and I could close the windows and shut out all the racket from nature's habitat just outside.
Now I live in the city, and have learned to shut out more noise in five minutes than I did the entire night back then. I have a train that I barely notice any more, off in the distance blowing its whistle every hour . I have cars and trucks driving by at all times of the day and night, and the creatures that are scurrying by are now humans, usually talking. Dogs bark, cats whine, other animals make their cries. I am sentient of an irrepressible stew of commotion out there, a whole other world that comes into being when the sun goes down, all with its own clatter and din.
I am not advocating for the legislation of noise. Life is a commotion, a confusing assault of sights and sounds and activities, and it would be much more difficult to live in total silence. For those who are forced to do so, life is more complicated, because not only do they not hear the good sounds like their child's voice or beautiful music, they don't hear the sounds that we take for granted like the car screaming toward us or the fire alarm that warns us.
But I do think the monks and the nuns and other religious figures who live a contemplative life are on to something. I am an advocate for spending 15 minutes each day in the silence of one's own mind, reflecting, meditating, musing, thinking.
Next time you take a walk with your dog, don't just take time to smell the roses, take time to listen to the hum of the world around you. Next time you drive somewhere, leave the radio off and let your mind wander under its own direction. When you get in bed, leave the television off and read a book, or write a poem, or start that prayer journal, or just lie peacefully and think about what is good in your life. Tomorrow morning when you have your first cup of coffee, take five minutes extra to sit down and relax and enjoy the aroma and the taste and the feel of the warm cup in your hand. Allow your own senses to determine your mood and your attitude for the day, instead of the announcer on television giving you the latest murder statistics or the weather report that is likely to be wrong, anyway.
I agree with Simon and Garfunkel about something. Darkness can be your friend, and the seeds of your thoughts are best nurtured with a little silence.
