I feel vindicated this morning. I read in the news that a Swedish study has now proven what I have always suspected to be true - the early bird may get the worm, but they die younger, so they don't get to enjoy it, anyway. So what's the point?
I have never been an early bird, unless you count staying up all night and seeing the sun rise. I don't keep those kinds of hours any more, of course. You hit 40 and that's all over. But in college, I was quite the little night owl. I am not sure it was so much that I enjoyed staying up late as it was that I didn't get around to going to bed.... But that's neither here nor there, really.
It does, however, bring me around to procrastinator's clubs. I like the idea. I should be a charter member. In fact, I would be a charter member, if only I had ever started that club I have been meaning to start for quite a few years now. Or at least joined a club, which I've also been meaning to do, but I never seem to get around to it.
One little hurdle standing in my way, other than the obvious, of course, is that I've always been a little suspicious of people who organize procrastination clubs, or at least, the ones that get them off the ground. I think it's a teensy bit fishy that someone who claims to be a first class procrastinator is structured enough to put a whole club together.
I fear there may, in fact, be a Type A personality hidden behind that slacker facade. You just never know. Once given the gavel, they may use it pound mercilessly on those of us who truly are organizationally challenged.
There would be no fear of such a thing happening if I were in charge. For starters, I would probably lose the gavel right off, anyway, so that would be the end of my calling anything to order. Not that we would ever have meetings, because of course, we would all procrastinate, and probably never arrive in the first place.
I know of what I speak. I attend a monthly Bible study, and the reality is that if I am there, we know there won't be anyone else arriving, because I am generally half an hour late. At least. For me, that's early, actually.
Fortunately, we seem, as a group, to be chronologically challenged, because I am hardly the only one. Shall we say, if anyone ever got there at the appointed hour, they would be there alone? For a rather sizable time frame, in fact. You know, perhaps I should shoot for that after all. It would give me a half hour to get the lesson done.
It's not that I intend to be late, of course. That would be rude. It's just that I get on the phone, or I am working and don't get my shower taken on time, and then there is the Bible study we all know I've never completed, and suddenly, before you know it, it's time, and I haven't even picked out my shirt and pants for the day.
My brother's birthday was over a month ago. I was feeling rather smug, because I actually got his present this past summer. It remains as one with the server in my dining room, on top of the card I prepared well ahead of time, determined to be on time, for a change. I have a friend whose card I purchased some time ago - it was very funny, made me giggle. Naturally, I cannot find it now. Nor can I seem to locate the little something I was going to throw in the envelope with the card.
So it seems that even when I have excellent intentions, and I try to plan ahead, I remain behind and hopelessly outdated. It is maddening to be so inefficient.
I have passed this unfortunate lack of organizational acumen on to my offspring as well, which has been neither blessing nor boon for either one of them. My son has never owned a thing he couldn't lose instantly. He has had the same pair of gloves two years in a row, and always manages to lose them before the following Christmas. He has three sets of keys around in various places, so when he loses or forgets where he left them, he will still be able to get into his apartment.
My daughter is becoming legendary for her inability to locate her belongings. I am beginning to think a homing device may be required for her, because half the time, I can't remember where she is, either, to say nothing of her stuff. Except for the stuff that is piled on the stairs, of course, which is always right there, out in plain sight. I would complain, but at least we can find that stuff, so perhaps it's best to just let it remain, in case it's vital and we need it.
One of these days, however, I am going to pull myself together and organize a boycott of the airlines until they have transparency in pricing. I, for one, am sick and tired of having 250 seats on a plane, and 250 different prices, with surcharges and taxes and hidden fees like baggage check fees. It's time for the airlines to simply state what it costs to fly the plane, and then charge accordingly. I think the public should refuse to cower and cringe and allow this sort of abuse, and it's time for us to take a stand.
Which I will organize, just as soon as I get around to it.
