It is interesting what will set off a firestorm of letters to the editor in our local newspaper.
Let's take stock of our situation for a moment. We are experiencing the worst recession since the Great Depression. The government is bleeding a river of money to irresponsible companies that failed to plan past next week in the rush to capture excess profits today. Our infrastructure is in need of deep repair. We are losing jobs by the hundreds of thousands, the stock market is crashing, and people are losing their homes. There is a lot to be justifiably angry or upset or worried about.
But here in Kansas City, everything is apparently still up to date, judging by the concerns being voiced most vociferously in the Unfettered Letters section of the online version of our local paper. Not for us the weighty matters that are dragging down the rest of the country. No indeed.
Instead, the things that worry us the most, judging by the number of letters and responses generated, are bad drivers and where the mayor's wife spends her time. The only thing that would generate more talking points would be the relocation of the daily crossword puzzle, a mistake I hope never to see again in my lifetime. [There are people on staff at the Star still in therapy over that debacle.]
Isn't it interesting how it is often the matters of the mundane that drive people over the edge? I find it curious that people can take losing half their 401(k) in stride, then melt down over someone cutting them off in traffic, delaying their forward progress by a full quarter of a second. We can watch natural disasters and war and insurrections on the evening news and then have dinner as if it had nothing to do with us. But let the mayor's wife set up shop in city hall, and all functioning will cease until she is dealt with.
Missouri has something called the Sunshine Law, which actually pertains to open government, especially with regard to meetings and document availability to the public. I would, however, forgive anyone for thinking that it refers to the sunshine which usually melts the as yet uncleared snow from the city streets days after it has fallen, because that is the sunshine that gets the most media attention around here. [And let me just share with you, it will be days of angry commentary before the furor fades after each snowfall.]
Why is it, I wonder, that the large catastrophes can be dealt with calmly, with equanimity, but the small things send us into orbit? What is it about human nature that allows us to handle the disaster, but not the irritant?
Speaking for myself, I cannot explain it, but I know it is absolutely true. I can handle any number of major catastrophes, but give me a series of small events, nothing moments when taken by themselves, but put them together in a bunch, and I will go straight off the cliff. Call the men in their little white coats, because you might as well just take me away now.
I have observed people with a paper cut whining as if they had cut off their arm, while a person battling cancer will insist there is no problem. Kill a column in the comic strip section, and you will deal with letters for months. Record the highest murder rate in years in KC, and we yawn and seem to think that is just business as usual.
I think it is sort of like a mosquito buzzing around your head. It's a small bug, barely big enough to notice, but the amount of irritation it generates is unbounded. We have whole industries devoted to its eradication. While mosquitoes aren't the worst scourge to smote the earth, they are certainly annoying enough to keep you indoors at dusk, and feeling crabby about it. It doesn't change the world, but it changes your world, which is, of course, the whole point.
Ironically, this tendency to overreact, while firmly reserved for our own use, is something that most people find nearly intolerable in others. Phrases such as, "Get a grip," "Making a mountain out of a molehill," or "Chill out," are little more than alternate ways to say, "You are over-reacting, and it's annoying me." They are dismissive phrases, a way of letting the other person know that not only is that issue not important to the listener, it's not important, period.
No where is this strange tendency of people to come unglued over the most trivial of issues exemplified more clearly than in the retail world. My son, Mr. Customer Service himself, used to work at Krispy Kreme. He loved the job, enjoyed his co-workers, and had a good time most nights while he was there. It was a great part time opportunity for him in high school to learn work ethic, as well as hone some people skills.
He would, however, periodically come home completely flummoxed over the vagaries of people's whims and personalities. Among other issues, he once had his very life threatened, because the glaze on the original doughnut he was serving was not evenly spread. On another notable occasion, he had a tray of drinks thrown back in his face by a woman angry that her box of doughnuts didn't get to her fast enough. You may think these are isolated incidents, but I can assure you, they weren't. He had dozens of similar tales from the years he worked there, each one more idiotic than the next.
He now works part time while going to college in the Little Town on the Prairie with the Big Inferiority Complex. He makes sub sandwiches, and he works the bar rush over the two weekend nights. As the economy has gone downhill, he has reported that the level of civility has fallen along with it, until, in recent weeks, they are forced to call the police on a nightly, if not several times a night, basis. He has recently had a chair thrown at him which hit him in the back. He has had people threaten him with a knife, throw things at him, and be verbally abusive to him.
These people are not angry because their lives are in disarray, except tangentially, perhaps. These are people who snap because the meat wasn't arranged on their sandwich they way they like it. What are we to make of that?
It is a wonder that some of these banks and other Wall Street firms haven't seen violent episodes played out in their lobbies over the last few months. Certainly, there is some evidence that the concern exists, at any rate. I have gone into a number of business places recently and found I had to sign in and get a visitor's pass, then be escorted to the office where I was going. Fear of others is permeating our entire culture - we connect virtually, but not in person.
And yet, it seems, all this security is largely unnecessary. Most people accept the loss of their retirement with calm resignation. It's the Starbucks barista making their caffeinated beverage incorrectly that forces us to peel them off the ceiling.
There has been a recent spate of letters to the editor regarding the inability of the average Kansas City area driver to locate their signal lights when turning or changing lanes. A fair amount of speculation has been generated regarding the intention of these drivers, along with some humorous commentary online about mind reading.
Another hot button issue seems to surround the ideal distance between cars at a stop light, with anecdotal evidence being produced as to the efficacy of each position. There are dozens of letters, all deadly serious, debating the relative merits of four way stops, police patrols, and the prevailing speed on the freeway. Each response generates a flurry of further commentary, each writer providing evidence as to why their particular point of view is more correct than any other.
Waiting for our leadership in Washington to solve the problem of peace in the Middle East, or the economic disaster we are currently experiencing, or even the natural disasters that await us, merits barely a comment. But bring up the mayor's wife, and it will generate days of hot debate. [I realize there is never going to be peace in the Middle East, but you get my point.]
The human psyche is an interesting thing. It allows us to overlook the log in our own eye, in favor of carping about the splinter in someone else's, all the while, never acknowledging that it may be us that is blind.
