Fall, as a season, is about the beginning of the end. It is about leaves falling off the trees, and the cold of winter pressing in. Someone in the fall of life is creeping up on the time when as much of life is behind them as is ahead of them. Fall is not the harbinger of renewal and regeneration. On the contrary, fall signals the death of summer.
It is incongruous, then, that fall also ushers in the season of the greatest new beginning there is, known as the start of the school year.
I have always found it ironic that we celebrate New Years on January 1, which has very little relevance to anyone. There is nothing new or interesting about January, with it's cold, it's dreary skies, it's sense of let down after the exciting Christmas holiday. Indeed, many people would just as soon skip January altogether. So why, then, would we celebrate the initiation of the most depressing month of the year?
I think we should celebrate New Years at the real start of the new year, which occurs when school is once again in session. The Yankee candle scent of New Years could be the smell of fresh crayons, just out of the box, or perhaps the aroma of a new textbook, fresh and full of all the opportunities to learn which are hiding within. Those things are worth celebrating, and I think most people, even those without children participating in the process, feel the new energy, the new excitement, that goes along with the beginning of classes across the country.
Although it's been awhile since I, myself, started school, I have two young people in my household who participate in the ritual each year. They have widely varying attitudes about it, of course, as they do about most things.
My son, Adam, loves school, and relishes everything about getting back to the books. A lover of learning, he is never really out of school, since he has taken summer school classes at a local college the last couple of years, and always has his nose in a book. But even for him, fall signals a change, as he returns to his college campus from the summer at home, fresh and ready to begin his quest for knowledge anew.
My daughter, on the other hand, summed up her feelings about school as she was leaving for the first day of her senior year by informing me, "I am already sick of school." Not a particularly promising beginning. She has never embraced the educational experience, and this year is no different, senior status notwithstanding.
This year, of course, she is taking part in the greatest fall game of all, applying for college. If you haven't done it in awhile, I can tell you it is a cut-throat sport, filled with everything that makes for a good drama. You have big money, as these applications now come with a rather steep price tag, $40 and more apiece. You have competition, as hundreds or thousands of students apply for too few spaces to take them in. You have scholarship races, as kids compete for the precious dollars doled out so carefully by each college or university, and which are becoming increasingly scarce in these days of economic turmoil.
Most of all, you have the angst, as kids apply willy nilly to colleges which may or may not accept them, and they worry mightily about where they will be come fall. It is migraine inducing, ulcerating blood sport, and only the most relaxed of students won't have their senior year of high school shattered by the experience.
My son, who debates everything all the time, has debated with me about the wisdom of students applying to five or six or more competitive colleges, hoping to be accepted to one, tying up wait lists and scholarship dollars in the meantime for other students who may genuinely want to attend that institution. Back in the day, when I was a youth applying for college, you would apply to the college of your choice, and then to a back up school that you knew had to take you, such as a state university.
These days, there is so much competition, even the most qualified of students rarely gets accepted at a competitive college without being wait listed. Many students don't actually know where they will be attending until summer arrives, and some are notified in late summer that their school of choice is now open to them, once they have already made their peace with attending elsewhere.
I can't see how this angst is helping anyone. Applying for college shouldn't be the worst part of senior year, the moment every student and parent dreads as the clock ticks relentlessly onward. The stress of figuring out where you can afford to go, together with the worry about whether you will even be accepted, is a lot for most families to handle, especially at a time when they are coming to grips with the change that is about to hit their family. When your child is young, and leaving the nest for the freedom of the skies is far off, that day looks very different than when it is looming over your head, a reality sooner rather than later. You should be able to experience that time free of the stress and fear of how many pins you will knock down in your particular college bowling game.
This year, for the second and last time, we are experiencing some of the thrill ride that is college application time. My daughter, like my son before her, has decided to apply early and get it out of the way, so she doesn't have to worry about it any further. I am all for that. Let the stress of paying for it be the biggest worry we, as a family, have to face. I am not looking forward to the day when she will leave me behind, but I anticipate with enjoyment the fun she will have wherever she lands, on her feet and ready for a good time.
This fall season is, for us, a time of bittersweet lasts, as she moves through her final year of high school. It is, in a way that no other school year can be, a year of endings, as she writes the final chapter of her pre-adult years. Next year at this time, she will be flying high in her own world, pursuing a life independent and entirely her own, just as I have prepared her to do for the last 18 years.
What will be, for her, the greatest new beginning of her life, will signal for me, also, one of the biggest changes in my life. For I am fast approaching the fall of my life, and slowly but surely, the leaves will begin to change their colors and fall from the tree.
However, just as the start of school brings fresh opportunity and a new chance of success for every student, this will be a new adventure for me, as well. Even as the seasons change and the weather begins to turn, that brings with it a chance to see the world through a different filter, and to grow and appreciate things in a new way.
Where I have spent the last 24 years tied up with children's concerns, suddenly, I will be free to pursue my own interests, dedicate my own time, determine my own activities, without regard for anyone else's needs. It is a scary time, but an exciting time as well, for most parents, and I will try, as I always do, to embrace this new reality with as much enthusiasm as I can muster.
I think we should start the process this year by celebrating New Year's at the start of the real new year, and have a little party right now! Happy New Year!
