I have noticed something rather interesting and perverse recently, and am wondering if I am the only one who is confused about it. The issue at hand? Global warming.
It seems that in the last year or two, people in this country finally started listening and accepting that maybe, just possibly, global warming might not only be real, but we humans may have something to do with it.
Even our own government, well known for it's bureaucratic sluggishness, has finally sidled cautiously onto the bandwagon and acknowledged that perhaps we, one of the major consuming countries on earth, may have some responsibility to the rest of the world, not to mention future generations, to try to restrain the number of toxins we are spitting into the air on a continuous basis. By the time the US government admits to anything, it's been a fact for more years than I've been alive, generally speaking. So, apparently, global warming is a reality, and we will now throw billions of dollars into solving the problem, unless I miss my educated guess.
Just as everyone was jumping on the bandwagon, however, I have noticed the oddest thing. It seems to me that the climate is getting cooler. This is not just happening at the North Pole, where the melting of the ice cap is literally threatening the lives of the polar bears who depend on it. This is also occurring in Minnesota, where summer has been redefined as anything over 70 degrees Fahrenheit, and here in Kansas, where we now look at 90 as the new 100.
I had a conversation with a very unhappy relative recently, who, just two short years ago, purchased the cabin she has dreamed about owning her entire life. It is in central Minnesota, so the time frame in which you can really enjoy the lake, whose shoreline cost her roughly a mint, is already somewhat limited. If they can be in the water from late May through the end of August, they are having a great year.
Since they made this heady, and fairly spendy, decision to move forward with a cabin of their very own, global warming has suddenly gone cold. They have had a grand total of approximately five days over 85 since the day they closed on the mortgage. Now THAT is frustrating.
What, I ask the scientists who have been pushing global warming on us for the last umpteen years, is going on? Where is the devastating heat we have been warned about? Kansas is not only not becoming a desert, it is, in fact, wetter than it has ever been. The last two summers have seen us worrying about fungus on our bush and tree leaves from all the water falling from the sky. What, in heaven's name, is up with that?
I have noticed a rather fascinating phenomenon in the last few months, that seems to subtly confirm my sneaking suspicions that we have not heard the whole story, yet. The term, global warming, has suddenly been replaced in common usage among the experts with a new, and perhaps more accurate descriptive - climate change.
I, for one, am forced to wonder why they didn't use that term in the first place. We might have gotten to the table a whole lot sooner if only we had known that global warming was, in fact, the death of summer as we knew it.
Sort of makes you wonder about the wisdom of building that new outdoor baseball stadium in Minnesota. At this rate, they will be wearing down parkas and ear muffs to watch the boys of summer tossing lobs around the diamond.
I don't know that we have gotten into the 90's here in Kansas City more than a handful of times all summer long. I have been waiting to power wash my deck until things warm up, because it's a wet and cold occupation. I am still waiting. Now that August has arrived, it seems it's going to be an even longer wait, because we are hitting the end of the summer, and still no 100 degree days. This is depressing.
As far as I am concerned, the most important function of those 100 degree days is to provide us with contrast for when it will be zero degrees outside in January. If we never get to 100, then zero feels a whole lot colder and is even less welcome. Not, mind you, that I am ever thrilled about that to begin with. But at least, if we have nearly died of the heat all summer, there is some relief involved when you can once again step outside and breathe.
It seems, for the second summer in a row here in Kansas City, 100 is but a distant dream, and the new reality is that we had best make the most of the almost 90 degree days we are blessed with a handful of times each year. Historically, the hottest part of our year always seemed to be in mid-August, when the kids are forced back indoors against their will to learn about things that they don't care about, while outside, the swimming pools continued to beckon. So I will maintain some fragile hope for more heat yet this summer.
But I am definitely not holding my breath. At least, not until winter, when it's so cold outside it hurts to breathe.
Global warming? Bah humbug.
