We are reluctant, however, to admit that the happy moments generally have the counterbalancing sad times, where we have to deal with the reverse emotions of sadness, despair and grief. For every wedding there will be a loss, either of divorce or a funeral, where that union will be shattered. Every day brings happy birthday songs and wishes for some, while it brings the sting of death for others.
Death is an inevitability that we baby boomers are the first generation to largely successfully avoid, at least in the short term, as life spans extend, and our parents and even grandparents live well into their 80's and 90's. The number of elderly, yet active adults continues to bump ever higher, while medical research continues to find ways to cheat the grim reaper of his easy prize.
Many boomers, even those sliding into the Medicare years, still have one or both parents, not only alive, but active and involved and busy in their own lives. Sometimes the only way we can catch up with our busy parents is by cell phone, because they are never home. The days of grandparents sitting idly in rocking chairs seems like a tall tale of yesteryear when compared to the modern matures who travel, eat out, and socialize with their friends on a daily basis.
This weekend, our extended family had a bit of both ends of the spectrum. Although I expected to feel emotionally whiplashed by a funeral in the morning for a beloved uncle, followed by a party in the afternoon for my newly graduated daughter, it turned out to be a wonderful way to honor both of them. I think, in years to come, my daughter will find she has a deep appreciation for having shared that special day with her great-uncle, and it will be a cherished memory that she will enjoy telling her grandchildren.
We were, of course, sad to lay a husband, father, grandfather, brother, uncle, and friend to rest on Saturday morning. But we also rejoiced in his life so well lived. We celebrated his accomplishments and service to others with a joyful certainty that he has found his place in heaven with the Lord to whom he dedicated his life. Those of us who loved him are assured that he was welcomed with the words, "Well done, good and faithful servant."
In the afternoon, we went from paying our final public [but surely not our last personal] respects to a man who was truly a legend in his own small town world, to a party celebrating the new opportunities for a young woman who is just now coming into her own adulthood, and who will have to find her own place in the world. There could be no better example for her to follow than that of the great-uncle whose day she will now always share.
He was a role model extraordinaire, the man who led by example his whole life, with a passion and dedication that would put most of us to shame. He had strong principals which he lived on a daily basis, founded in the home where he was raised, and tempered by his life experiences.
My daughter was fortunate enough to personally know and sincerely love her great-uncle. No trip to Minnesota was complete without a stop to see Aunt Marian and Uncle Albion. She found his life stories interesting, and thought he was funny in the way he told them, even when she heard them more than once. She enjoyed learning about his many accomplishments, and felt pride in being a part of his family. I know that she will miss him very much in the years to come, but his example of how to live life will live on, not only in his children and grandchildren, but in all the children whose lives he touched. The legacy that he has left for his younger relatives is one of living a passionate life, and it's an example I sincerely hope my daughter will embrace in her own adult life.
Uncle Albion was, first and foremost, passionate about his faith. To know him was to know his faith, his steadfast confidence in his Creator, a Lord so loved that he carried that faith with him through a world war and a lifetime of extraordinary achievements.
Albion embraced the ideal of God's perfect love. A lifelong perfectionist, Albion didn't admit to many mistakes, but he was humble enough to know they were there, and he was grateful to a God that would forgive him for any transgressions. I believe that faith gave him the courage to forge ahead each day for 91.5 years, confident that in his final hour, the God he had professed during his lifetime would meet him and greet him at heaven's gate.
My daughter is at the beginning of her own faith journey, searching for what she believes. She is challenging the faith that she inherited from her older relatives, and is searching for the faith that will be owned by her, and only her, in its entirety. Faith cannot be conferred, it must be won through each person's own life battles. In the end, the faith that is real is the faith that has been tested and found sustaining. If Erin finds the kind of faith that endured for the 91 years of her great-uncle's life, she will certainly have a life equally worthy of looking back on and celebrating on her final day.
Uncle Albion was passionately devoted to his family. When his country called, he left to go into the service, eventually fighting in some of the harshest battles of the war, including the Battle of the Bulge. I have no doubt that he went willingly and even joyfully, knowing in his heart that this fight was to preserve the life of the family that he valued and cherished. He put his life on the line unhesitatingly in order to preserve life for others, and I doubt he ever regretted it for a moment. He went forward with confidence, knowing in his heart that he was following the course that God set for him, and he knew that whatever the outcome for him, he was fighting for something greater and more valuable than himself.
He was a family man, through and through. He loved his wife, children and grandchildren with a devotion that is unmatched. He uplifted his sons, listing each accomplishment with great pride as they worked their way up in their careers. He loved his daughters-in-law, and he never ceased bragging about his grandchildren's accomplishments. He enjoyed everything they did, even when his granddaughter decided she was a Democrat!
In the last days of his life, he was still working to make life better for his beloved wife, and a little story I was told at the visitation is the best example of his quiet, but powerful love for his family. Aunt Marian had a hip operation which was very risky, but she decided that she needed quality of life, not just life, and she went forward with it. He was so happy and relieved when all went well, and she moved very quickly to a place where she could rehab her hip.
He missed her at home, of course, but spent lots of time with her in her room. He knew that she was in the best place for her, so he was encouraging and supportive of her stay. But one day, he felt the room was too warm, because the air conditioning wasn't working right. He went home and eventually came back with two small fans, then spent quite a bit of time strategically placing them in the room so that she would receive the maximum benefit from those fans. He refused any help, despite his own difficulties in moving around. It was a labor of love for him to provide those fans for her, and no one was going to take care of her but him. That kind of passion is something to cherish, and the more so after 63 years of marriage.
He loved his extended family, as well. He called his sister almost every day until the final day of his life, worried about her, even though she was eight years younger and in better health. He always enjoyed a card or a letter from nieces and nephews, shooting a photo on his back porch to remind him of the visit and the happy time together. He was never at a loss for words, and if I answered the phone, he would be full of questions for me about my life.
My daughter is at the beginning of her adult life, still discovering the passions within her, searching for the things that are worth fighting for in her own life. But I know that the time spent with her elderly relatives has not been wasted, because she values her family, and would do anything for those she loves. She has already shown herself ready to passionately defend her own family from the threat of harm. I am confident that in the years to come, she will embrace the example of her great-uncle and will serve others, just as she has been served, for the betterment of us all.
Uncle Albion was passionate about his country, and about our way of life. He not only went to war to preserve it, he defended it in many other ways as well.
He was a staunch, and vocal, Republican his whole life. He would argue politics with anyone at any time, and his fervently held opinions were not easily swayed. He volunteered in all sorts of activities, from church choir to Commander of the VFW post in town. He was the town's unofficial ambassador, usually the first to meet new residents and welcome them to the city he considered the fairest in all the world.
Uncle Albion gave of himself generously, and the town gave back with enthusiasm. Among other accolades, he was honored with a citizen of the year award, which was certainly one of his proudest moments. He worked hard his entire life, he never shirked his duties, and he set an example of hard work and dedication to his community that few people could hope to match. He was a Main Street guy, one who believed that you start your service in your own home, and support your local businesses as if your life depended on it. He was willing to sacrifice everything he had, even including his own life, for the next generation to live a life of freedom and democracy, and he would expect no less from each of us.
Erin hasn't had the time or opportunity to make a big impact on the world, but I know that the examples she has observed have rubbed off on her, and made her aware of her own obligation to give back to her country for all she has received. From holding a garage sale to support Save the Children when she was ten, to visiting a nursing home on her own time because she didn't want to let the elderly residents down when the event was cancelled, Erin has learned the importance of giving back, and the joy of service to others. I think that in the years to come, she will give more and more of herself, and the example of service to others set by all her relatives will surely not be far from her thoughts.
I think for my family, Erin and Albion will always be inextricably linked because of the special day they shared. We will never forget that her party was on the same day as his funeral. But as disconcerting as that could have been, it turned out to be a wonderful celebration of life on the full continuum, and I know that Albion wouldn't have wanted it any other way. I never saw him happier than when he was at a family event, holding court with his relatives, young and old, and soaking up the atmosphere of the event.
When we sanitize the hard stuff of life, glossing over the valleys we all must pass through at some point or another, we are deprived of the wonderful inspiration we receive from people like my Uncle Albion, and we take away the tremendous examples that are set for us by those who have gone there before us. I know that my uncle went into his future unafraid, because he had already faced all his fears, and he was not found wanting. He knew his Lord was waiting for him on the other side, so he was unafraid to make the journey. I can think of nothing more comforting than the assurance that people such as him will be waiting for us when our own time has come.
I will miss my uncle in ways I am only beginning to appreciate, because he has always been there, a stalwart part of life that I counted on to never change. But his death was much like his life, I think. It occurred in his own time, and in his own place. I can only hope that as my own daughter approaches her final days decades from now, she will be able to look back on a life lived as passionately, joyfully, and most importantly, as well as the great-uncle with whom she will be forever linked.
Then the Lord will greet her, too, with the words, "Well done, good and faithful servant." There could be no higher reward.
