Everyone is familiar with the story of Prince Charming, dashing to the rescue of his Princess Bride, handsome, debonair, perfect. Prepared for anything. Nothing will stand in his way as he gallops to his lady love, solving all problems before they waylay him, slaying every dragon, and ultimately saving her day [and often her backside] in the end.
Real life looks a little different, at least from where I stand. My life is filled with low hanging branches, and I'll be darned if I don't ram into every one of them along the path. I don't know if I need new glasses, [maybe I should check into Lasik a little more seriously,] or if I just need to look ahead more often, but I have been knocked off more charging steeds than a jouster at a Renaissance Festival, and I have the broken bones and bruises to show for it, too.
I have been told by a well intentioned person, ignorant of my reality, that we bring our own outcomes upon ourselves. If I want a more positive outcome, I have to think positively, instead of always expecting the worst.
If only I had known. All this time I thought it was just real life hitting me upside the head. Evidently, I should have positively thought my way to life success a long time ago and just avoided that whole divorce nonsense, not to mention unemployment and poverty. Thanks for the helpful tip. I'll get right on that.
Of course, she has been married for over 30 years to the same adoring guy who actually thinks she walks on water, her children have turned out perfectly, they have plenty of money and have, by and large, had life go pretty easily for them. I would like to invite her to walk a week in my skin and see how the other 95% of the world lives.
Lest you think I'm throwing myself a pity party, I don't consider myself to be unique. It seems to me that most people have low hanging branches threatening their progress as they travel the road of life, no matter how pretty things look from the outside. Almost everyone gets hit in the head periodically by an unexpected limb hanging in the path that they just didn't recognize until it was too late. I think, in fact, that getting knocked off your horse is something that most people have in common, which is why we all giggle when something goes wrong for someone else [we're just so glad it's not us, for a change,] and immediately want to help them get back on the horse [we would want a hand, too.]
The same well meaning person told me that my string of life failures is God's way of telling me that I am not sufficiently humble - I have a lesson to learn, and until I learn it, I will continue to be humbled. Let me just say right now, I will grovel lower than pond scum just to successfully duck under one branch and ride on unscathed. If humility is what God wants from me, I'm all over it.
In fact, I got off to an early start on that particular lesson when at my birth, my own mother took one look and said, "Ah, I don't think so." I guess I wasn't sufficiently upbeat upon making my entrance for the first mom to hang around, if my acquaintance is correct in her advice on living more successfully. I wonder if I could take a mulligan?
[I am kidding about that, obviously. Fortunately for me, I ran into a family with slightly lower standards, and they took me in just as I was. Which gives this story its happily ever after ending. Sort of. Well, it's happy for me, anyway. I'm not so sure about my mom, who may have second guessed her decision a time or two, but is WAY too nice to say so. Ignorance is bliss and all that.]
My brother once made a simple, yet very profound observation as we were walking through my beautifully manicured former neighborhood of cookie cutter homes, where every third house looked exactly the same down to the basketball hoop in the driveway and the van in the garage, and there was little to distinguish one house from the next. He remarked, as he looked at the lovely expanse of little homes in front of us, that while everything looked beautiful from the outside, there was real pain hiding behind each and every door.
That insight is something I've remembered all these years, because he hit on a home truth that means a lot to me. Everyone has their problems, and just because things look beautiful from the outside, that doesn't mean there is isn't a struggle going on inside. Someone may live in a beautiful house and drive a new car, but still have an empty life. You can have all the earthly rewards the world has to offer, but if you have sold your soul to Satan to get it, then you are still lost.
I continue to look backwards too often on the path that I've left littered behind me, dwelling on the sticks and the branches that are clinging to my hair and the concussion that is lingering, instead of picking myself up and putting myself back on the horse. I am even more reluctant if it requires a hand from a friend to get there, because in true Minnesota Lutheran fashion, I don't want to put anyone to any trouble. I frequently forget that the most important part of any journey lies ahead, and if I want to miss the low hanging branches that surely await, I have to pay more attention to where I want to go instead of where I've been. If I spend too much time looking at the path someone else has taken, I will miss the twists and turns in my own route, and before I know it, I will be on the ground, wondering what happened.
There is a saying, life is a journey, not a destination. That is a matter of fact, because when you have reached your destination, life is at it's end. Between here and there, we all have a lot of living to do, and unfortunately, that includes a large number of low hanging branches for everyone.
You can't always anticipate the obstacle that will be thrown in your path, because life takes sudden U-turns and sharp curves that we can't see until we're in them. But you can look around you at the others who are nearby, and realize you all have branches in your hair, and we are really all in this life together.
We cannot control what life throws our way. A lot of bad stuff happens to good people, and that's just how life is. People get divorced, lose their job, have children that screw up, make bad financial decisions, have friends that stab them in the back, get cancer, have accidents, and the list goes on and on. Everyone has something that has gone wrong in their life. We can't control what life throws at us. But we can control how we respond to those incidents, and how we move forward from there.
So give a hand to a friend who needs uplifting. Jump on your horse so that your friends will feel good about jumping back onto theirs when they fall. If you encounter a low hanging branch, know that it won't be the last, but you can still learn something from it for the journey forward.
Personally, I've decided to get new glasses, and I am going to put on my helmet, too. I will still get knocked off, but hopefully I'll see it coming, and I'll be prepared for the fall.
Wishing you helmets and good vision for your journey this week. And when you're on the ground, give a shout. Someone will be right there to help pull you back up on the horse. Guaranteed.
