I imagine most people, when hearing the term shackle, think of being held captive in slavery. I don't mean to diminish their experience or their pain, but I think there are other shackles that hold us as firmly in place as the metal cuffs placed on the wrists of the runaways seeking the freedom to live life on their own terms. The fact that the freed slaves often chose to remain where they were speaks to the difficulty of overcoming our own expectations as eloquently as any words I could ever find. Casting away what we know and moving freely into whatever the future holds for us is always complicated, and easily resisted.
We are held static by many forces; jobs, family, school, belongings, and fear are among the most powerful. As humans, we tend to resist change, and embrace the familiar. The trumps the frightening possibilities, even when they offer a potential for something better, unless there is something very persuasive involved to get us out of our rut.
I think we are held to the past every bit as much by our belongings as we are by our minds. People are, by nature, acquisitive. We begin accumulating at birth, holding fast to everything as we mature. The things we have help define who we are, and our knickknacks reveal a lot about our interests and understanding of the world. They can be a mark of our territory, an indicator of the place we call our own. Whatever it is in our mind, it's a powerful force to be reckoned with when the time comes to sort everything through and dispose of things that are no longer needed.
Like most empty nesters, I have thought about downsizing, and the time is rapidly coming when my too large space will have to be reduced. The cost of maintaining a home appropriate for four or five people is too high for one person and the upkeep is unmanageable. The time has come to begin the sorting process, and I am totally overwhelmed by this task.
I go into the store room to find 20 years worth of stuff that was once critically important to our lives, and cannot figure out whether I still need it, or just simply want it because it's mine. It's daunting to look at toys and clothing and furniture, trying to decide whether I even actually care about it, or it's simply so familiar I can't quite envision my life without it. Do I even see, with open eyes, the massive amount of mugs adorning my kitchen cupboards, the decorations adorning the walls, the cute trinkets and other decorative objects I have on display? Or have they become so much a part of the background noise I don't even notice they are there any longer, and won't miss them once they are gone?
What is all this worth, not only to me, but to others? Am I hoarding belongings, like a squirrel waiting for the winter that has come and gone, uselessly retaining vestiges of a life I no longer lead while fear keeps me from turning the page to the next chapter in my book? These are tough questions that most of us begin to consider around age 50, when half our life has passed. We are starting to feel the pressure to account for ourselves and the mark we have made on the world. Having a lot of useless stuff is not really the legacy I had in mind.
I am resolved, in the coming weeks, to make some changes in my life. I want to find out what is truly important and what is habit. I am going to cast off the shackles of materialism that have held me in place for too long. I want to rediscover a more simple way of life, where the things I truly need are the ones I have at hand, and I can let go of everything else with a wish that they will bring joy and comfort to someone else as they have to me in the past.
I came across a Beach Boys song a few days ago that really sums up my mindset today, and I want to share just a few words with you, because they put into words exactly how I feel.
"...so hard to shed the life of before
To let my soul automatically soar
But I hit hard at the battle that's confronting me
Knock down all the roaddblocks a-stumbling me
Throw off all the shackles that are binding me down
Sew up the wounds of evolution
And the now starts to get in my way
So what if life's a revelation
If the mind speaks of only today
So real, the pain growing in my soul
Of climbing up to reality's goal
But I hit hard at the battle that's confronting me,
Knock down all the roaddblocks a-stumbling me
Throw off all the shackles that are binding me down."
I foresee the mother of all purges in my near future. I am going to cast off the past and lighten the load as I venture into the second half of my life, freed and lightened from the worries of what I only think I need, but don't even really want any longer. Perhaps then I can focus on what is most important to me - spending time and energy on those I love.
Take a journey through a drawer or closet this week. See what you have that encumbers you instead of frees you to be the most you can be. Lighten your load. The back you save will be your own!
