As I approached my long awaited destination last evening, the plane slowly descending out of the skies into the lush greenery of Africa, it suddenly occurred to me just how very brave my 19 year old daughter was a few short months ago when she came here all alone. To set out for a nation previously unknown, with no support system and no one to turn to, no one to hug or care for her inner person - that is a daunting thing for anyone to take on.
Perhaps that is why hostels are for the young. As we age, we crave comfort and security, eschewing the unfamiliar in favor of what we know and understand with minimal effort. Sometimes we cling to the known even when the familiar is no longer the right fit. Square peg, round hole, although awkward, when gradually slid into, can even feel normal even if we do it long enough.
But there are many journeys in life - times when we are forced out of our comfort zone to try something new, something different. We may run headlong into a brick wall - a concussion is not out of the question.
But when we take that chance, when we run the risk of stepping into the unfamiliar, sometimes we are rewarded with the experience of a lifetime. When we risk our pride, our dignity, our self-satisfied existence to try something new, the rewards can be unexpectedly rich.
I have felt led by God to take many risks lately. Some of those risks are well known to all who know me. Some of the risks are known to only one or two. I have extended myself in ways, old and new, over and over recently, with varying levels of success and failure, at least as measured by the world, some of which have left me feeling out of balance and uncertain, even as I have stretched my own expectations of what my life means.
It is tiring, this stepping out on faith. And yet I have to trust that God won't steer me in the wrong direction. If I have faith, I must also trust that somehow even when it looks like I have failed, God will somehow make that moment fit his plan for my life.
It can be difficult to discern when we are in God's will, and when we are overruling and following our own whimsical path. But the outcome leaves us with little room for doubt. When we follow the cross, when we allow God to work his perfect will in our lives, the end result will always leave us enriched, even if the road is rocky. Temporal satisfaction is brief - God's blessings are eternal.
My daughter has been so richly blessed by her opportunity to live and study in this new and culturally different land. People keep asking me how she came to select Africa, and I have given the easy, incomplete answer that she was guided by her study abroad adviser at the University where she is now officially a junior. But the deeper, more truthful, answer is that God led her to Tanzania to open her heart and mind in ways she couldn't ever imagine, much less experience, somewhere else.
It hasn't been easy, this living on the other side of the planet, with all the cultural and societal differences and expectations. She has sacrificed many important moments she will never get back in order to have these moments she would never give back. She has embraced the cultural diversity, the language barriers, the time zone complications, hard classes, moments of sadness and even the moments of despair. In exchange, she has gained a clear calling in her life, a stronger sense of purpose and meaning, and a deep realization of just how capable she is. She will never again suffer those fears she felt as she touched the African continent for the first time because she has already faced the frightening unknowns, overcome the stumbling blocks, and been enriched by the love of people she didn't even know four months ago.
I am blessed to join this most special, wonderful child of mine, and to be led by her in her adopted land. I marvel at how quickly the unfamiliar has become comfortable, strangers have become her African family, and the uncertainty has turned into home.
She has planned our entire adventure - taken charge of the arrangements and scheduled the time in ways only a resident can. She wants to share her home and her experience with me, and I am a fortunate mother indeed to be able to taste her experience as she lives it.
I cannot help but marvel as I reflect on her bravery in having faced this experience on her own. The shy toddler who wouldn't let go of my leg when we stepped foot out of the house has turned into a beautiful, open, joyful adult who embraces everyone and everything with infectious enthusiasm.
This past Mother's Day, I spent my time connecting with my daughter online instead of in person. I am realizing I have already gotten the gift over and over again. I was fortunate enough to raise this wonderful person who is willing to take the big risks, step out of her comfort zone, and dare to do something beyond most people's everyday imaginings.
As she follows the path God sets before her, I am proud and humbled to see how he is working in her life. Because she dared to be different, because she was willing to overcome her trepidation, because she followed God's call, her life is forever enriched, her faith is strengthened, her knowledge is expanded, and her love of God's people is matured.
The next time I feel resistant to doing what I feel God is calling me to do, I won't shy away from the difficult, the complicated, the uncomfortable. I can look at my daughter and be inspired by her faithful example.
And if I occasionally get a headache from running headlong into that brick wall, I will try to embrace the bump as an opportunity to expand my world. Steel is tempered by the red hot fire, and walls come down one piece at a time. What an adventure she has had. What a revelation she has given me.
God is good. I am blessed.
