People who know me well are aware my life is currently in upheaval. (I realize this is not exactly the earth shattering pronouncement it may have been if I were someone whose life was not constantly in flux, but none the less, it is true.) For those not In The Know, I decided, after long and careful thought, to uproot myself and move back to the Great Motherland in the North.
I am not unique in this prodigal return. It seems that sooner or later, most people who Leave Minnesota For Good eventually end up right back where they started. It's disconcerting to once again be just another average statistic, but I'll get it over it. I do hate being this predictable, however.
In the process of moving, I have been forced to go through everything I own, deciding what to keep and what to toss. It's been surprisingly cathartic, as I have detached myself from the unnecessary and figured out what actually matters to me. The new me, the one in Minnesota, will be a substantially slimmed down version of myself, and I think I'm going to like it.
I haven't gotten rid of anything vital, of course. I need my tools, and I have more clothes than I will probably wear in a lifetime. My kitchen will remain well stocked with items, even after my daughter runs off with a few items she cannot live without! My garage will still be full of car and lawn care items, and I will still have everything I need to deal with the A to Z's of life.
But I will actually know what I have, and hopefully I will be able to put my finger on where it is when I need it. That will be a nice novelty I haven't enjoyed in quite some time.
What has amazed me in the past month, however, is how little I have missed all the stuff I have already discarded. I find I don't even recall what I had, much less feel like I miss it. How surprising life can be at times!
This has been a good lesson for me. All the stuff I have clung to and thought was so important may be just window dressing, covering up what really matters to me. When you step back, take a deep breath, and truly examine what you have in life, sometimes there is a clarity about things that you cannot get any other way.
I have spent the packing up hours examining my life along with the belongings, and have found some things to discard there, as well. Old attitudes that no longer reflect who I am, old ways of doing things that might be done a better way, inefficient thinking which constrains me and holds me hostage to the past - all of it needs to go. If it is not moving me forward in my life, then it is holding me back, and I need to discard it.
The road has been long, and the process has been difficult, but I think I may finally be emerging into a new life. Finding our place in the world is a process, not an event, and all lives have hard times, but I have discovered it is possible to open oneself to the possibilities and enjoy the process more than I have to date.
I am heading back to the future at the end of this month, and I am starting to really look forward to what is ahead for my life. If nothing else, living in the town where I grew up will remind me of who I fundamentally am, and that can only be a good thing. Growth is painful, change is hard, but the future is not attainable without both.
Time to pack up and move on out to my new life in my old home town! I can't wait to see what's ahead for me, and share it with you, my faithful readers. From the big city lights to the small town nights, life is changing, and I'm changing with it. I hope you will all come along for the ride.
