I had one of those moments today. You know the moment. The one where you are pulled up short from your way of thinking, because you are slapped in the face with another reality that is completely different than what you thought, all in the course of a casual conversation.
It is so very easy for me to slip into a mind frame where someone else's facade is all there is. They have more money. They are more successful. Their life is easier because X, Y, or Z has happened for them, and it hasn't happened for me. I am not really resentful. I am usually happy for them that they have a better life. But I also figure they haven't walked in my shoes, so they just don't understand how I think or feel, and how I got there.
But today, I had a brief conversation with a friendly acquaintance. I like this person, and respect what I know of them, but I would have thought we had little in common, and attributed some differences to what I figured was a lack of understanding. (Obviously, that lack was not on my part, but on the other person. Yes, I can be embarrassingly self-centered.)
And of course, it turns out I was wrong. This person has walked the same mile, insofar as anyone can. I feel ashamed of myself for doing exactly what I would condemn others for doing - making assumptions, pre-judging, just because this person's life experience appears different (read easier and more successful) than mine.
I learned, once again, a strong lesson from my experience today. It is all too easy to assume that you understand someone from what you see on the outside. But people are icebergs. There is so much more underneath the surface that you never see, and which may be entirely different than what you think.
A close friend once told me that we all have our cross to bear. I have repeated that myself many times since, but today, I have once again been reminded that even though the cross is our own, pain is pain, however it comes to us, and we hurt just the same under the surface.
I wish we would do more listening to each other, and less shouting at each other. I wish we would take the time to understand someone else's point of view, and see the best in their intentions, instead of the worst. I wish we could have a conversation instead of an argument, and focus on what unites us instead of what divides us.
As I was reminded today, we are much more alike than we are different. Our vision of the right and wrong way to get where we want to be may be different, but if we delve, it may not be as different as we think. If we take the time to understand their thought process, perhaps we could have more understanding and less conflict. The world would surely be a better place if that were the case.
And if we really pay attention, we may find that we have surprising things in common that we would never expect, which is part of what makes life so interesting.
It isn't ground breaking. We all know it. But sometimes, we need to have that moment, to be reminded that life is short, and people are what matter. Everything else is just a distraction.
