I have thought a lot about the Gabby Petito case, lately, and its on my heart. There is a message in this case that hasn't really been talked about much, at least as far as I have seen. And if there is anything good to come out of this terrible tragedy, it is the cautionary tale of Gabby's life and death.
No one, literally no one, even our closest friends and relatives, knows what goes on behind closed doors. People cover up all sorts of things, from the petty and insignificant, to the serious and even deadly. Gabby (and Laundrie) covered up an abusive relationship, and it cost them both their lives. So here is my serious advice to anyone, man or woman, when you get involved with someone, even if you think you already know them well or someone you know gives them rave reviews.
The first time, the VERY FIRST TIME, someone is abusive to you, walk away and don't ever go back. People do not suddenly become abusive because you did something wrong, they abuse others because they lost their self control and feel they have a right to lash out however they want. It was a choice, not a forced reaction. If someone hits you or harms you or threatens you, get out and tell someone immediately. You don't owe them your silence, and it wasn't your fault they chose to lose control. Verbal abuse is still abuse, and if someone threatens you, even if they don't carry it through, you are still at risk.
Maya Angelou once said, "When people show you who they are, believe them the first time." This is good advice in all walks of life, but particularly for intimate relationships. Those who abuse are telling you who they really are, deep down, and they most likely won't change. Don't hang around for the second round. There will be no winners.
