Well, imagine my mirth upon arising this morning to the news that the esteemed mayor to our area's leading city is back in the news again this morning. From within the safe confines of his own residential address, I might add. I feel I simply must update you on the latest volley he is throwing in the direction of the hapless city council, not to mention the long suffering populace, given that it was only yesterday when I offered them up for your reading pleasure to begin with.
It seems that His Honor, the Mayor, is now going to sue the very city over which he currently presides as leader. I kid you not, he gave an interview from his living room, which, as I mentioned yesterday, is currently serving as his office, so it must be real. He stated that the volunteer ordinance recently passed by the city council is unconstitutional, because it is targeting his wife, Gloria, and he cannot let it go. Thus, he is filing a lawsuit, against... his own administration.
Personally, I am wondering how all this is going to play out. Talk about your conflicts of interest - this has to be the granddaddy of them all. As the mayor, he is certainly entitled to be privy to strategy sessions regarding the city response to a lawsuit against it. And, of course, he is spearheading that very same lawsuit, thus he will be the driving force in strategizing on the other side as well. Hm. What to do, what to do? I wonder if this will keep him up nights, as his inner selves battle it out for supremacy?
The biggest question I have? Will he recommend the city settle with himself? Or is he going to advocate for battling it out in court, fighting to the final bloody tooth and nail? It should be fascinating to see the negotiation process, as he hops from one side of the table to the other, arguing both positions. Or not. I am telling you, this is better than fiction, because you just cannot make this stuff up. No one would believe it.
Something I forgot to mention yesterday. The esteemed mayor is about 6 feet 8 inches tall, and somewhat resembles Abraham Lincoln. Not his politics, just his face. Somehow, I don't see Abraham having this kind of trouble controlling either his wife or the most inept city council since Pendergast was the fox in the hen house.
The Letters to the Editor have been pretty entertaining in and of themselves, of course. The mayor has now been nicknamed Lurch by some of his many detractors, which is not that far off, really. There is a superficial resemblance there, which is particularly noticeable when he is upset, as he generally is these days.
His own wife calls him Funk, which our esteemed local paper, in the comments area, automatically censors for its similarity to another word that is not so nice. But of course, the effect makes things even worse. Now, every time someone calls him Funk, it gets XXXX'ed out, making the comment look even nastier than, in fact, it was, and some of them are pretty nasty, indeed.
The recall is shortly to ensue, it seems, if the more rabid letter writers are to be believed. Which they aren't, of course. One thing you can be sure of in Kansas City - nothing will ever really happen, because nothing ever does. But I'm here to tell you, the ongoing soap opera over there is guaranteed to keep entertaining us for months to come. Speaking of Rome burning while Nero plays....
When I got up this morning, I intended to write about my home state and snow, but honestly, this is the kind of reality television that just cannot be ignored. For years I have labored under the apparent misapprehension that my life was unusually lurid and chaotic. I had no idea of what else was lying in wait just over the border into The Land That Time Forgot.
Doesn't this make you feel better about your own life, now? Whatever else may be wrong in your life, at least you aren't having to sue yourself over it. Cheers!
