I am very proud to reveal, when asked, that I am a Minnesotan, born and raised. I lived there for the first 27 years of my life, and I formed opinions about the state and its people which I cling to, even now.
For example, Minnesota nice is not just a cliche or a catch phrase. Although Minnesotans tend to be extremely reserved, [the hula hoop of personal space for your average Minnesotan is 2.6 times larger in diameter than for the inhabitants of any other political entity,] they are deep down kind, and generally speaking, about as generous of spirit as people anywhere on earth.
Growing up in the midst of the austere and thrifty Minnesota Scandinavian Lutheran crowd, [think Garrison Keillor and you will recognize the town where I spent my childhood,] I formed the opinion that Minnesotans are, by and large, a fairly serious group of individuals. No nonsense and straight forward, low key and lacking in the drama factor found in some other areas of the country, Minnesotans can be counted upon to bring a sober reality to most situations.
I can back this up with statistics, too. I have thoroughly researched this subject in a non-scientific survey. [Okay, it was entirely from my own memory, but still, I surveyed myself, and I think that should count for something.]
This review has revealed that while a number of famous people have called Minnesota home, [Charles Schultz, Charles Lindburgh, Loni Anderson, Jessica Lange, Bob Dylan, Hubert Humphrey, Judy Garland, and F. Scott Fitzgerald come to mind off the top of my head,] I can only think of one comedian that has achieved national fame - Louie Anderson. [Well, there is also the aforementioned Keillor character, but I have a love/hate relationship with his writing, since he seems, at times, to have a love/hate relationship with Minnesota, and especially Minnesotans, so I don't necessarily consider him all that amusing.] I am comfortable with that lack of comedic representation, because there is security in knowing that every situation has been assessed with thoughtful judgment before a plan is put into action.
Thus, it has taken some mental acrobatics for me to accept that along with that sober, this-is-my-cross-to-bear mentality, comes an equally compelling reality. Minnesotans will occasionally go straight off the deep end and do something so totally unexpected, so completely random and off-the-wall, they leave the rest of the country in a daze of shock and awe of which former President Bush could only dream. I don't know if Minnesotans just store up all their stray impulses to release in a single massive pop of the balloon, or if the cold occasionally freezes their brains and causes a collective mental fart.
But I am rather disconcerted, and certainly at a loss to understand, much less explain, episodes such as Jessie Ventura as governor, Al Franken sweeping out a long time politician for senator, or how a guy named Prince could take the world by storm from the confines of a purple world in the middle of Minneapolis.
Well, okay, Prince is a little more obvious, since the alternative music scene in the Twin Cities is one of the most vibrant anywhere. But the purple? Definitely not a color embraced by a sober populace. Although it happens to be my favorite color. Of course, you will notice I no longer live there. More evidence to consider, I think.
Um. Getting back to the topic. In the midst of these musings, I recently read of another departure from the norm that piqued my interest. Apparently, a couple of state senators have come up with a plan to save the state's economy. Forget bailouts and tax credits and fancy economic schemes. They are going to hold the world's most expensive garage sale.
I must admit, I am amused by the idea of state level senators holding a garage sale. I don't think cut rate and thrifty are the first adjectives that normally come to mind when thinking about politicians. So I suppose we can forgive them for not realizing that the first rule of a garage sale is to put a price on your item, then cut it by three quarters. And then expect a fight, while the shoppers continue to negotiate for more favorable terms.
It tickles my fancy to envision the lawn in front of the Capitol dotted with tables of outdated and useless detritus from the mechanics of government. And who will be hawking the wares, I cannot help but wonder? Will we be able to give the legislators a piece of our minds along with a piece of our cash, in exchange for items that the government bought and paid for, but no longer needs? Will their children sell baked goods and soda off to the side to sustain the weary shoppers, who will then look longer and spend more of their stored up pennies?
I don't know about you, but if I were still living in Minnesota, I think I would be a little nervous about the idea of a garage sale as the basis for my state's revenue stream. It seems like a foundation built on shifting sands, since you can't really count on having several billion dollars worth of unneeded items laying around each year to fund your educational and highway requirements.
In truth, I laud the effort of those legislators to try to recapture something of what has been spent on items no longer needed or in use, but I have some genuine concerns, too, especially about privacy. Simply reformatting the hard drive on a discarded laptop won't cut it when it comes to privacy. Your average 14 year old is probably sophisticated enough to recover what was erased, although it will defeat their adult parents who are in the midst of a crashing meltdown at work. Do the state's lawmakers realize that? Hopefully they will check with their resident adolescents before putting this idea into practice.
And if it is good enough to sell to the general public, how come it was replaced with something new? Did that replacement need to occur, or was it replaced because that is what has always been done?
The whole scheme sounds a little sketchy to me, but I do give them points for trying. At least they have proposed a solution, rather than just complaining about the negative situation in which we currently find ourselves. I don't know about you, but I am tired of hearing about what we can't do, and I am more than ready for some brainstorming among our so-called leaders.
I have learned in life that if you continue to do something that isn't working, there is no reason to expect the outcome to be successful. If you want a different outcome, you need to change your methods. Well, clearly our current strategy has not been working, so it looks to me like the time has come for some drastic changes. Kudos to them for at least trying, even if the strategy is a little, well, unusual.
I have heard in the past that many local government entities routinely sell discarded items on E-Bay and other online auction sites. If they have outlived their governmental usability, it's not a bad idea to try and recoup some of the expense. But this is certainly taking it to a whole new level, and I am entertained at the thought of what you might find at that state level garage sale.
Cars? Computers? Books? Desks? Filing cabinets? What would the state sell, if they could? It would be interesting to see what no longer fits into the government that originally thought each item was exactly what was needed. I cannot help but wonder how many of those items would still be in the original packaging, with the price tag still attached? [Come on, we have all done it, and the government is run by people, so you know there have to be oodles of items that have never even been out of the box.]
And how would you determine the price of the items being sold? I don't see it working out for the Legislature to be out there on the lawn debating and passing votes on each pen and stapler. [I can see it now, someone will be waving away a mosquito and will vote to sell the quadriga for a dollar.] And yet, they are the ones who are charged with the ultimate responsibility for state finances, so it seems they should also be the ones who determine the costs and benefits of each source of revenue.
In the meantime, I cannot help but giggle a little at the vision I have in my head of the garage sale on the lawn of the Minnesota State Capitol grounds. We could mix and mingle and learn about our government up close and personal. Perhaps it would even give us some insight into the inner workings of that august body of elected officials, although I, for one, am not really sure I want to know.
Or maybe it would just be a cheap thrill to own a pen once used by Jessie.
