In any life, there are many game changing forks in the road, both personal and professional. Whichever tine you choose, you have to live with whatever the outcome may be. When things don't go the way we want, it is easy to look back and wish we had chosen another tine. But you can never know what might have happened had you chosen another option, because that time has passed. It may have given us the more desirable experience, it is true. But on the other hand, perhaps not. It really depends on how you look back on it, and whether the lesson learned was valuable enough to make the pain worthwhile.
The Churkendoose could not choose one part of himself over another. He was a product of his origins, part chicken, part turkey, part duck and part goose. He had a weird way of talking and a weird way of walking, and he didn't really fit in with the other barnyard critters. The other animals wanted to run him right off the farm, in fact, because they felt threatened by someone who did not reflect what was normal or usual for them.
But the Churkendoose reveled in his strangeness. He embraced who he was, and he was eager to share that with everyone else in the barnyard. He accepted himself in his quirkiness, and worked hard to learn about the others, as well.
Whenever he was confronted by something confusing, he would think it through and ultimately come out with the positive statement, "It's all in how you look at things!" His willful desire to see the best in each and every creature with whom he came into contact allowed him to move forward in a positive manner with his own life, even when others put him down or hurt his feelings. His approach allowed him to embrace whatever came his way, and to make the best of the bad situations, because he always opted to view the experience through a positive lens.
I think that attitude is what drew my daughter into his story. I think she is on to something. Every event can be seen as a challenge or an opportunity. Challenges can be positive, but they are always something that need to be overcome. Opportunities, on the other hand, are a way to make life even better. Where I see a roadblock as a challenge to get around, others will see the opportunity to go off-road and see something new and unexpected.
I like to look at all aspects of a situation, size up every possibility, think about each potential downfall, and then choose the safest route to where I want to go. But for some reason, that often doesn't work out the way I had planned. Instead, in choosing the safe route, I end up somewhere other than where I wanted to be. Too often in life, fear keeps us from following our dreams, and instead of embracing what we feel passion for, we settle for much less than who we really are.
Watching a small child learn to walk is an interesting experience. Some children face the challenge very cautiously, taking that first step only after cruising the furniture or holding a hand until they are very sure they are ready. I suspect I was one of those. Other children will embrace the opportunity and let go immediately, before they are ready. Even when they fall, they continue trying until the achieve their goal.
I admire that. I have also noticed that those children tend to walk earlier, and feel better about themselves for the achievement. I think, like the Churkendoose, they have accepted that not every outcome will be the one they want, and they see it as an opportunity, rather than a stumbling block.
Most of life is filled with small steps, little events which don't really matter in the larger picture, even when the outcome is something other than what we desire. But some events are life changing, and the decisions we make today will truly affect the course of our lives in the years to come.
Whether and where we go to college will affect our life choices, because it will impact on the quality of the education we receive, as well as the network we develop after graduation and the opportunities we are afforded.
Who we marry is an undeniable life changer, as it impacts everything from where we live to the children we have and our entire life experience.
Where we choose to buy a home or rent impacts the opportunities we have, both in terms of friends that we make, as well as schools, amenities, and other things that bring additional quality into our lives.
How we pursue our career is another life changer. If we are happy and productive, we will be more satisfied with life than if we settle for a job that we hate just to bring home a paycheck.
There are various times in life when we are confronted with decisions that will be game changers. Graduating from high school or college, and the course we pursue, will impact our lives for years to come. Getting married, having children, staying close to home or moving far away all change not only your life, but the lives of the people you know and love. The empty nest provides another moment for life examination, as you decide what you want from your remaining years when you are no longer so tied to the responsibility of making your choices based on the needs of others.
I am at that time in my life. The nest is now empty, and overflowing with artifacts from an existence that I no longer lead. I have been looking at the future as a challenge, a roadblock to be gotten through. I have not embraced the opportunity that is mine, because I have only seen the hardship it will require of me to get where I want to go. But being tied to a life that I've outgrown is no longer comfortable, either (if it ever was.) In the immortal words of Mark Twain,
“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”If I am ever to find myself living the life that I want, rather than the one I have settled for, that time is now. Self-examination is a good thing. It is spring, a time for change, renewal, and regrowth. Like Alice, we must occasionally step through the looking glass and dare to see the world differently, or we can never grow ourselves.
There is everything to gain by living the life that we are meant to experience. Self-discovery makes the journey interesting. Throw off your bowlines and sail away from your safe harbor with me! Risk living out loud, and on your terms. It makes the journey worthwhile.
