Over the last couple of weeks, a number of people I know have had serious health issues. Some of them have built up to the crisis, while others have suddenly found themselves in health related trouble. It is always a surprise when our bodies turn on us and we have to face the fact that they aren't 100% reliable. But, in fact, life is a crap shoot, and you never know when your time will be up. It is sobering to realize how many people will not see tomorrow, and that how they live today is the way they will be remembered by the people who knew them best.
I recently read an obituary written by a woman diagnosed with pancreatic cancer who died 29 days later. To the end, she wanted to control how she was perceived, even in death, and she wrote her own goodbye, which was funny and poignant and heart warming, all at the same time. She was young, only 69 years old, with a lot of life left unlived. Like most of us, she planned to do things some day, I am sure, only to be surprised with the information that someday would never come.
I have always hated the phrase, live like this is your last day on earth, because it is unrealistic. You cannot live your entire life in a panic about the last time you see someone, the last time you leave your house, the last time you feed your pets, the last hug, the last dinner, the last whatever. If we are so focused on the last, we cannot focus on the now, the here, the moment. We have to be human, we have to feel and express and think and live.
But at the same time, it does make me consider the legacy I would leave and how I would want to be remembered. Do I live my life in such a way that people would remember me as I would wish? What is most important to me? What will matter to my grandchildren or great-grandchildren? What is it that defines me for my children, my husband, my mother, my closest friends and relatives? What makes me special and unique to them, what role do I have in their lives that cannot be replaced by anyone else, what void will my absence never fill?
It is a dark topic, in some ways, which is why it is difficult to consider. But in other ways, it is an uplifting exercise in mortality and how I want my own life dialog to be driven. Although I will not live forever, no one does, to the people I love, and to those who love me, I will be forever myself, unique and irreplaceable. That eternal aspect of our love for others is certainly part of the Easter story, which is why I am thinking about it this Easter Saturday.
I would urge you to tell the people who cannot be replaced in your life exactly how important they are to you. It is good for the soul to know that you are so cherished that no one can fill the place you hold. It is a compliment of the highest order to share with someone that they are so special to you your heart will never be the same because they have known you. When someone impacts you in a life altering way, they deserve to know how you feel.
We expect that of our parents, spouse and children. We hold a unique place for each of them, a role in their lives that is rare and special and unique. We expect that the loss of any one of these people will be life altering, and we are only surprised when it isn't. It doesn't excuse us from telling them how important they are to us, because we all need to hear it. But unless the relationships are irretrievably broken, you have that expectation from your closest family.
But if we are fortunate, we will be irreplaceable to others, as well. And it is those people who can provide the uplift that changes the day, the week, the life. To know that you have affected someone so profoundly that their whole life has been altered because you are alive is to know that you will live on through them no matter what tomorrow brings. That is a powerful incentive to me to live well and faithfully.
So what will people remember about me when I am no longer here to influence the dialog, I wonder? I think people will remember that I am musical, I love to read and write, and I am often witty and sarcastic. I am generous of spirit (even when poor of pocket) and I love my family and friends with my whole heart. I can be a little flaky at times, but I am also sincere and honest in my intentions. I try hard to be the best person I can be, and I regret my mistakes and failures when I have let down myself or others. I am a faith filled person, and I humbly follow the Lord and Savior who sacrificed his all for me. I want to live in a way that will make my God greet me at heaven's gate with the words, "Well done, good and faithful servant."
I hope that day of reckoning is a long time away. I have a lot left to do in this world, and my life hourglass is still half full, in my mind. But if today were my last day on this mortal plane, I hope that I would leave no one wounded by my failure to acknowledge their importance to me. Easter is a time for renewal and a new life in the faith that Jesus made anything possible through his grace. If you tell one person how much they mean to you, and they tell one person, and it goes on from there, we will generate some positive love to counteract all the hate in the world today. Satan is having a field day, and one person standing alone is pretty lonely.
Tomorrow we will celebrate the empty tomb. Think about who is irreplaceable to you, and let them know. Start with someone who means the world to you, and spread the joy. Make sure your story is one that reflects the glory of the promise of the resurrection. There is no legacy more valuable than that.
