It is Mother's Day weekend, and naturally, I celebrate my own mother, who made a spectacular success of it. (And who better to say so than her daughter, who got to see her in action up close and personal?) Just as naturally, I celebrate my daughter, who is a wonderful mother to my two precious grandsons (the HUGE payoff for not strangling her when she was 15 and impossible, as I like to remind her whenever I can work it into the conversation!)
But I also know that there are a lot of people for whom Mother's Day is a painful reminder of what they don't have, whether through loss by death, or perhaps because they never had it in the first place. We all have our own picture of the perfect mother in our heads. Whatever your vision of her, most of us had some variation on that theme, and we know and appreciate how fortunate we were, or conversely, what we missed out on.
It is an easy joy to celebrate the good mother most of us had. But if you did not have the mother you would have wanted, for whatever reason, I urge you to reach out to the woman who stood in her place, the woman who uplifted you, encouraged you, helped you, supported you, and was there for you while you navigated the rocky road that is life. Because there was someone, or perhaps several someones, who did exactly that for you, and they deserve to be recognized, too.
I have many women in my life who have stood in the gap for me over the years. First and foremost, my aunts were always there for me, each one bringing their own special magic to my life table, and I hope they all know/knew how very much I love and appreciate each one.
One of them was like my other mother, and I could count on her to treat me exactly like her own. She loved me unreservedly, but did not hesitate to set me straight when necessary. I was not thrilled at the time, assuredly, but I respected and loved her for her willingness to risk the moment for the lifetime lesson.
Another one opened her home and heart to me a hundred times over the years, treating me as one of the family, allowing me to infringe on their special family time, and giving me a respite from the realities of my daily life. Summer days at the lake are some of my favorite memories, and they could not have happened without her willing and open heart. I am forever grateful for her love and support over the years.
Yet another aunt made me clothes, encouraged me to sing and play, allowed me to mess up her kitchen, and gave me space to just be me whenever I spent the week with her. My mother's sister, so different from my mother, and yet so fundamentally the same. She was safe, she was encouraging, and she was love personified.
I am fortunate to have so many more aunts, I cannot bore the world with all my fond recollections. But donuts and hugs and love abounded in great measure in whoever's presence I found myself, and I never doubted for one single moment that I was special to them. What a gift to receive. My mother loved me because she was my mother. But my aunts loved me because I was me.
There were many other women who influenced me over the years as well, and I am grateful to each one for the building block they provided me over the course of my life. Whether a teacher, a mentor, a boss or a friend, each special woman brought something unique and important to my life. I am the person I have become because each one of those women played a role in my story.
I have learned so much from the women who have come into my life. The lessons abound, too numerous to detail. But I know that I am a better daughter, mother, wife, and friend because I have had so many wonderful women show me the way.
So if you are missing your mother this weekend, (and even if you are not,) take a moment to wish all the women who have helped to raise you up a happy and joyful day. Mother's Day is, to me, a celebration of what women bring to our lives.
Happy Mother's Day to all the wonderful women in my life! I appreciate and love each one of you.
