My wonderful daughter is 29 years old today. From the moment she made herself known in the summer of 1991 (I have never been so miserable for the entire 7.5 months she was in utero and I still have to fight the urge to feel sorry when I hear someone is pregnant and just congratulate them instead of giving them my sympathy, although the outcome is worth it!) until this day, she has brought the same character traits to her life journey that made her the survivor she is.
I hadn't planned on a second child. Oh, I wanted one, wished for one, tried for one. But after a series of miscarriages, I had given up and was grateful for the one child I did have. I knew I was missing out, but you can't really miss what you have never had, so I didn't understand what I was missing, and I was okay with it all.
Then she showed up. And I realized that my daughter was going to have to be strong and brave and bold and fierce, from the moment of her premature birth. And I also realized pretty quickly that she was totally up to the job, and a spunky survivor, just like another woman I know and admire so much, my mother.
Although they may not know it, they have a lot in common. They are strong, independent women, and they are wonderful role models, each in their own way - one quietly guiding, one vocally leading, both showing me how to live life fully and without fear. But what qualities garner so much of my admiration? What makes them worth learning from and emulating? What makes a strong woman, well, strong in the best possible ways? I have been thinking about that, and here are some qualities that make me so proud to be the sandwich between these two generations - grandmother and granddaughter.
They are brave yet vulnerable.
They are strong yet flexible.
They are kind yet firm.
They are principled yet rooted in kindness.
They are both beautiful on the outside yet don't worry about appearances.
They are generous yet careful.
They have standards yet relax when it really counts.
They are smart yet listen to others.
They are independent yet allow their people to uplift when they need a boost.
Both of these women, my daughter and my mother, are good with money, great with speaking truth in wisdom, and allow others to be who they are unhindered and most importantly, unjudged. One speaks her mind with words, and one speaks her mind with body language, yet both let you know where they stand. They are loyal to those they love, and will not quietly stand by while their nearest and dearest are hurting from life's hardships. They dig in and dig out, whatever the storm, because that is the only way forward. Their outer beauty is a reflection of the soul within, a faithful, loving, fiercely protective worrier of those they care about most.
Today my daughter is 29, and last November my mother turned 94. There is a long distance between those two ages, and the gap is bridged by wisdom, courage and love. The experiences my daughter is having now are building her wisdom bridge to her own future, where she may someday have a grandchild of her own to help raise and nurture and encourage.
For Christmas, my daughter gave her grandmother a very special gift, a wall hanging with a song on it that had a very special meaning to her. It wasn't about the money spent, although I am sure it was plenty. It was the memory that it enshrined that really mattered. There were times when the little girl needed one person in this world, and the grandmother never once failed to be there for her. That wall hanging is a reminder of her understanding of how important that time was to them. That is love made human and very, very real. The lesson was learned at the foot of the master, and the little girl gives that same love in return.
I am so proud of my daughter for so many reasons, having nothing to do with me, and everything to do with who she inherently is. But in the last few days, I have realized that she is also a reflection of my mother's steadfast love and endless courage. She is the living embodiment of what that grandparent-grandchild relationship brings to the world. She learned living lessons from the best teacher of all - the one who had already lived life and had a world of wisdom to share with the one who was just starting out and ready to be filled.
Happy birthday to my Sweet Thing. I am the proudest mom ever. I couldn't begin to match your enthusiasm for living, and I am grateful you drag me along with your unstoppable force, even when I'm tired and think I don't want to budge!
The world is blessed to have you in it, and I'm grateful for you every day, not just on your birthday. I wish you a year of joy and fun and new places and new things and happy times with those you love most. You are one of my greatest joys.
Love, Your Mama
