You often hear people talk about moving on after a death, as if you can just leave it behind, like a discarded baggage claim from a trip you really enjoyed or an old blanket that you once loved but no longer need. News flash. Moving on is a lie that people tell you because they are trying to convince themselves that is how it will work for them when their own day comes.
Grief, the real deal grief that you experience when you lose someone fundamental to your life, like a parent, a child, a spouse or a dear friend you cannot live without but suddenly find you must, is a daily presence for quite awhile, even as you move forward. You do what you must. You eat. You sleep. You work. You go through the motions of daily living. You may laugh. You may participate. You may even find enjoyment at times. And that is all good. But grief will live with you in the quiet moments and the loud moments and the fun moments and the hard moments and probably every moment in between. Because to love someone deeply means you will grieve them deeply, as well. And that is okay. Because that is the price of the love you got to share. And what a gift that is.
