Family affair!

This past weekend we had a mini family reunion.  It is summer in Minnesota, and a busy time for everyone trying to pack in the maximum activity time while the weather is warm, so getting people together can be challenging.  But several of my cousins, their children and their grandchildren managed to get together at our family farm (been in the family for almost 150 years now) and spend a little time reminniscing and catching up.

In the midst of the celebration, something occurred to me.  The house looked nice, but not perfect.  The rain caused some issues.  The house isn't really big enough, so some people ended up eating on the wrap around porch while others were gathered around the buffet inside.  (That made getting seconds easier, of course!)  The grass was wet, but the kids didn't care, and the barn, although messy, was still a real working barn with cats and cows and calves and a pig or two and the rope swing in the haymow still works!

We don't need perfection to have a good time.  If we wait for the perfect moment, it will never come.  If we try to get everyone, we will have no one.  In this day of disconnection, we have to connect when we can, even if its not possible to have everyone every time.  If the house is messy, does it really matter?  Does anyone remember that my mom has stuff piled up in her bedroom because she hasn't got enough space to put everything away after 99 years of living, most of them in that very house?

What I remember is laughing together as memories were shared.  Eating a great meal prepared by everyone. Enjoying the time together with people I love and don't see nearly often enough.  Honoring grandparents I never knew who started the ball rolling by having our parents.  Seeing yet another generation introduced to the farm where our roots run deep and wide.

Don't wait for the right moment.  That moment is now.  Nike had it right.  Just do it.  And take lots of photos to share around.  You won't regret it.

40 years of Sonshine!

Today is my son's 40th birthday, which is not only a big birthday for him, but, as it turns out, for me as well.  Of course I have been thinking about him as we approach his big day, but I've also been thinking about what that meant for my own life.  Because becoming a mother turned my world on its side in ways I couldn't have begun to imagine, and now that same child hitting middle age is once again making me see myself differently.

At 24, I was barely more than a kid myself when he was born, and his arrival heralded a whole new age for me.  Even when I was pregnant with him, I didn't realize how entirely my universe would shift the moment I held him in my arms the first time.

But when I saw his perfect little face, his ten fingers and ten toes, his curly dark hair and his whole precious self and realized that this helpless person was entirely dependent on me, it transformed me in an instant.  I went from being the center of my universe to being the protector, provider and Person In Charge.  He needed me for everything - even holding up his own head.  He gave my life purpose and meaning, just by existing.  And even today, although he probably doesn't realize it, he continues to give my life purpose and meaning.  I am still his mother, different but the same.  I still want to be there when he needs me, still want to search out answers when he is seeking help, still want to support and uplift and grow with him as he grows.  I am realizing that my own mother has continued to do the same with me, and it is a life long process of love that continually circles from mother to child to mother to child, eternally changing yet eternally the same.

He always had a serious personality, and it started at birth.  He was not a big smiler, even as a baby.  But when he did smile at me, it made my whole day.  He was inquisitive and intelligent, and asked a million questions, half of which I couldn't answer, even on a good day.  But we would go looking, and I learned right along with him.  And when we would figure out the answer, he would beam at me, like I hung the moon.  Sometimes I miss those simpler days, when the questions were easier and the answers more obvious. 

He is still inquisitive and intelligent, but he doesn't ask me the questions too often any more, because he has more answers than I do!  He is smarter, cuter, and more interesting than me.  He is living his life on his terms, exactly as I hoped and prayed he would when I held him in my arms.  And I still live for the smiles he gives when he sees me, and the fun that we have arguing this opinion or that, or sharing an adventure or two together.

For 40 years he has put up with his less than perfect mother, and together we grew up into the mother and son we are today.  I have always been proud to be Adam's mom, and I always will be.  Happy Birthday, Sonshine.  Wishing you many more happy birthdays to come!

Laughter for the soul....

I thought about something today. Nothing earth shattering, or even new to me, although I seem to have forgotten it lately. We all need laughter in our lives. It helps lift the spirits, gives us a hormone rush, makes us feel better. The world is stressful. Find whatever makes you laugh and then make sure you indulge yourself in it. We cannot control a lot of the stress we are all under, but we can definitely help ourselves by actively seeking ways to relieve it.

On that note, I found a comedian online today that literally made me laugh out loud. I was working on transfers and listening while I worked, and I burst out laughing several times. It was good for my soul. I have often read inspirational writing, and all the Chicken Soup for the Soul stuff, and its all great. If its the written word, I enjoy it. But honestly, listening to this comedian today lifted my spirits in a way I haven't been lifted in quite awhile. I felt better emotionally, physically and mentally.

It is easy to let the world get you down. Take my advice. Comedy. Natural prozac for the soul. Its the real deal.

One more hour....

I am not sure what is driving it, but recently there have been a lot of memes on my facebook about missing someone, and how nice it would be to have one more hour with that person who is missed.  I have thought a lot about it in the past few days, because today, January 4, 2025, would have been my dad's 102nd birthday, and I always think a lot about him at this time of year.  

Choices

Sunday is Mother's Day, and I am grateful to still have my mother with me.  At 97, every single day is a gift, and I'm thankful for the opportunity to give back to her a little bit of what she has given me for 60 plus years.  

But I have also been thinking about what it means to be a mother to my own children.  Life is a complicated dance between competing obligations, and it can be very hard to decide which steps are most important at any given moment.