Skinny is not a dirty word any more....

I am just going to say this once, but it's important, so listen up everyone.  If you want to feel good about yourself, find a pair of pants you don't currently fit into, lose enough weight to pull them on, AND, (this is the really mind warping part) ZIP THEM UP.  It is a guaranteed natural high which will have you short of breath and floating on air all day.  (Ideally, you should be short of breath from the joy of it all.  Of course, you also may be short of breath because to get them zipped, you now cannot sit or breathe, but I consider that a personal issue, and I'm not going there.)

Eye told you so....

"They" say that memory is the first thing to go.  (Seriously.  Who are they, anyway?)  Well, apparently "they" have forgotten, because the first thing to go is not the memory, its the eyes.  You can always tell the people of A Certain Age (and trust me, it's a LOT younger than you think it will be.)  They are the ones holding everything at fingertip length, squinting and turning their heads like a camera lens unsuccessfully trying to focus in on the target.