The extravagant life....

Have you ever watched a dog sleep? It is an amusing spectacle, observing them twitch and shake and grimace, eyes rolling back in their heads as they drift off to their dreams of chasing rabbits and going for walks and, it seems, the occasional nightmare as well.

They always seem to have one eye open, ready for anything that may come up which requires their attention, and hopefully, participation. Their enthusiasm for life is both irritating and inspiring.

They sleep in the most ridiculous positions, twisted and torqued, heads hanging every which way, tongue often drooping from their mouths as they give way to the inevitable. They never seem to mind their circumstances - they are as at home on the grass or the sidewalk as on the living room sofa.

Dogs are uninhibited about their sleeping. They do not care if they have gotten up for the day just a few minutes ago. They constantly doze off if they are not being entertained, preparing themselves for their next spurt of activity.

The old saying, let sleeping dogs lie, makes a lot of sense to me. I have a Jack Russell Terrier mix, and when he is at rest, the house is peaceful. If he is awake, there is a whirlwind of noise and activity. He is enthusiastic about his life and his job in the family circle. He is constantly on the lookout for interlopers so he can raise the alarm. He is a whirling dervish when he wants something, running in circles, barking loudly, to let you know he is excited and anxiously awaiting your next move. He is in my face, ever present, constantly seeking my attention and approval.

I also have a Papillion, a beautiful little dog that is charming, smart, and interested in everything all the time. He will fall asleep anywhere, but always has one ear cocked, and his eyes are never fully closed. He is ready for anything, and will join his "brother" in raising the alarm, and my blood pressure, whenever the need arises. He is ever present at my ankle, a constant companion who doesn't let me get out of his sight.

I have been reminded lately how much those little creatures mean to me, and how much more full my life is because they are in it. It is easy for me to understand why nursing homes love to have dogs come in to visit the residents. They bring a sense of bonhomie that cannot be found any other way. We are connected in an almost spiritual sense, as they watch my every move, trying to anticipate what I'm going to do next, so they can be prepared for anything.

Dogs are always eager to be petted and fussed over. They listen attentively and never spill the secrets you share with them. They love with careless abandon, unafraid of who knows where they place their trust. Their only agenda is making you happy, [well, that and getting a treat,] but they will love you even if you don't come up with anything.

I have been blessed with some very special dogs in my life, but some are more special than others. They connect with you in a way that seems almost super-human, and you know they understand you and love you even at your worst. They lick your tears and sit in your lap and lay with you when you are sick or in need. They will alert you to trouble brewing, and they will protect you with their very life, if necessary.

Today, I am happy to be sitting on my sofa next to two dogs that make my life more complete. I am happy to have them both here - they provide quiet companionship with very little demand in return. They are a nuisance at times, a lot of work and time and effort, but they return everything I give them a hundred-fold and more.

I went for a walk the other night without my usual canine companion, and found it boring and dull. Although I walked the usual route, and saw the same things I see every time I make my rounds, it simply wasn't the same without him. I didn't realize how much he adds to the walk, just by being with me, until he wasn't there.

One of the qualities I like best about dogs is that they never hesitate to make the extravagant gesture. They don't worry about how you will receive their attentions or whether you will like them as they are. They assume that they are good enough, and want to carry you along with their enthusiasm while they are at it. They give you everything they have, and they throw themselves into whatever they are doing with enthusiasm. They are extravagant in the way they live their lives, and I think they have a richer life for it.

I don't often see people making the extravagant gesture any more. Years ago, there were cards and heartfelt letters sent just to remind someone you were thinking of them. There were hours spent around the television watching wholesome programs you didn't have to be embarrassed to explain to your six year old. People played board games and card games and spent time dining and conversing together, uninterrupted by the vibrating cell phone in their pocket alerting them to all the possibilities of which they might be missing out.

My dogs remind me how impersonal the world has become. Despite the ability to be connected 24/7, we seem to interact less than ever before. I would like to see a return to that quaint time when the person right there with you was more important than the message on your smart phone. I would like to have a conversation with someone willing to look me in the eye and show me they are engaged and paying attention while we talk, rather than having one eye on their e-mail messages and the other on the clock. It would be lovely to see people dining without a cell phone sitting on the table or jangling in the pocket.

Life is very short. We do not know when we will draw our last breath. When that moment comes, who is most important to you? The person at the other end of a text message, or the person who is there holding your hand?

I think one reason people are so attached to their dogs today is the sheer level of attention they pay to us, a quality which is rarely found between people any more. They are never multi-tasking while they are with us - we are it, and they are oblivious to all else.

My college-aged daughter recently deactivated her facebook account. I don't know exactly what prompted her to do that, but I asked her recently if she misses it. She didn't even pause before she told me she doesn't miss it at all. It surprised me, because I think most people, especially those her age, would miss their facebook a lot.

But these days she is more focused on spending quality time in person with the many friends she has made in college and on the job instead of spending her hours perusing the daily doings of people she barely knows. I think she may be on to something.

Social media, like Facebook, aren't bad in and of themselves. They allow people to be in touch, share pictures and life events, in a way that we never could before. It enhances our lives to be able to participate, even if from afar, in events that are important in our lives.

But at the same time, the more hours you spend on social media, the less hours you have to spend in person with people who matter to you. My daughter is a smart girl, and she has chosen to focus on the people in her life who are important to her. She calls instead of facebook messaging. She wants to have conversations instead of tweets or e-mails. She is less interested in having an impersonal relationship for the world to see and comment upon than she used to be, and has found it is more fun spending real time with real friends instead.

These days, she focuses her time and attention on those who matter most to her, and it is paying off. She is building solid foundations with people who are important in her life, and she is finding it fulfilling. If she wants to know how someone is doing, she calls or texts to ask them directly, instead of gleaning the information from an impersonal web page. If she needs something, she calls and talks instead of e-mailing or chatting online. She takes time to see people in person, to spend time with them in meaningful activities, to experience the world with the other people who share it with her.

We will never go back to a world before Facebook and Twitter, and I don't suppose we have to. But it is reassuring that even in the younger, more electronically savvy generation, some young people have discovered the difference between online friendship and the real thing.

Maybe that is why she is so good at working with dogs and their owners. She puts the person into personal, and builds the relationship from there.

I have forgotten how to live the extravagant life. It is not about money; you cannot buy friendship or love or happiness. Calling someone, sending a card, giving a hug, focusing my attention on the person I am with and allowing the text to sit until I am finished - those are my goals. I want to experience life first hand, not through a million online eyes that don't really matter to me.

This week, join me in the quest for the extravagant life. Smile at everyone, look people in the eye and ignore the cell phone when you are talking to someone, hug your kid or your spouse or your pet every day, call your mother, send a card to your friend that is struggling. If you are extravagant towards others with your personal attention, I trust that the investment will be repaid many times over.

That's the kind of extravagant world I want to live in, today and for always.