Giving Thanks...

This Thanksgiving weekend has been like no other holiday weekend I've ever had.  Because of covid, and more specifically, a covid exposure, I spent the weekend in "covid jail" by myself in my house - four days to think and decorate and cook and think and read and think and... think some more.

Now, those who know me well know how important my "me" time is to me.  I need that alone time to recharge and renew and refresh myself.  I am always thinking to myself, I WISH I had a few days to just be, and not have to do.  At long last, in my busy life, I have had it.  And honestly?  It was everything I hoped for.  It isn't how I want to spend every holiday, but for this one time in my life?  I can honestly say it was good.

New age...

Today I am 60.  It is an odd feeling.  It is kind of like the difference between nine and ten.  It is only a day, but somehow, you jump over a line when you turn 10, and I feel the same way today.  Saying I am 60 sounds, somehow, much older than saying I am 59.

Which is all very strange, because, in truth, I still feel the same as I did at 40.  (I am not so naive as to say 25, because I am much wiser now and that is gained through life experience and not a certain number of years on the calendar.  And I have definitely had plenty of opportunity to get wiser, so I know I must be at least 40!)  But I certainly don't feel like I've had six decades of life, and my wisdom quotient sadly does not match what I would have expected of a 60 year old, but thankfully exceeds my 25 year old self, at least.

Justice

 Justice must storm down like a waterfall, not trickle like a leaky faucet.

Sometimes you read a perfect line and just let it lay there and rest in it.  This is one of those times.

From Might from the Margins: The Gospel's Power to Turn the Tables on Injustice by Dennis R. Edwards, © September 8, 2020 APG Sales and Distribution

Another Father's Day...

I have often wondered what my life would have looked like if my dad had dwelled on earth longer.  I am sure it would have been different, but I wonder how so....  I have missed him so much over the last 47 years.  I was thinking about him this morning, and suddenly realized that he has been gone almost as long as his entire life lasted (he had just turned 50 when he suddenly died of an aneurysm.)  I am so sad for all he missed, and all we missed with him.

It is so easy to take your parents, at least the good ones, for granted when you have them.  They are just so present in your life - always there for you when you need them, even at my current age.  I can't fathom my life without my mom to turn to, because she has been my rock and my anchor for my entire life.

Straight talk...

I am allergic to bees.  Not a little bit allergic; I have a deadly allergy that has landed me in the hospital more than once, struggling to get it under control.  Every time I see a bee, I feel a little clutch of fear in my stomach, because it is life and death for me.  So I mitigate as best I can by leaving, trying to kill it, removing the source of the attraction, or whatever I can do, but then I carry on.

When I am out with my family or close friends who are aware of my allergy and a bee appears, I have noticed that they get a lot more stressed than I do.  It's not that I am cavalier about the risk - I live with it all summer long, and it is a constant worry, even in the house, because you never know when a little bugger will get in.  But I have come to accept that risk as a part of living my life, and I am at peace that I have done the best I can to protect myself by carrying my epinephrine at all times (well, usually, anyway, except when I forget) and the rest is in God's hands.

Light in the darkness...

I am struck this morning by how attracted we are to the negative news. Maybe its a human thing. But while a few people selfishly stockpiled more resources than they will ever need and a few people (of all ages) were still out partying on the beach and made the international news, look at what the overwhelming majority of people in the world are actually doing, and that includes the much maligned (and I think unfairly so) millennials.

The Great Divide...

I realized something a few days ago that I wish I had cottoned onto many years ago, when I still had people around as resources.  I am a slow learner, and now, I fear, it is too late.  So I am sharing my failure, hoping that someone else can learn from it, so you won't have to regret it later!

I never got to know any of my grandparents.  I have heard stories from various people, but didn't know any of them personally, because they all crossed The Great Divide either before I was born, or when I was a little tot.

Pride, meet the driveway...

I was reminded of that old saying, "Pride goeth before a fall" this evening.  There I was, marching down the driveway with my trash bin, smug in my happiness that this winter has been, relatively speaking, a pretty easy one, and that this week my driveway, unlike last week, is completely clear of ice.  Instead of fearfully shuffling my way to the end of my rather steep driveway, as per my usual winter method, I was just hurrying to get the job done and get back inside.  For the first time in forever, I have not fallen this winter, and I was feeling pretty good about myself, thinking that maybe this would be my year.  Really, I should know better.  Sure enough, next thing I knew, my feet slid out from under me, and down I went.

Smaller glasses...

It has been 47 years since the foundation of my life was rocked by the death of my father on January 26, 1973.  It was sudden, unexpected, and we were totally unprepared for all the ways our carefully planned life would change.  (I give my mother total credit for holding it all together, because it was HARD, and surely wasn't in her life plan, and I don't think I was very helpful.)

In those 47 years, I have grown up, I have graduated three times (only to not use any of the education I received for anything I now do!) I have gotten married twice, I have two children, I have two grandchildren, I have moved more times than I care to remember, I have made friendships that have endured all of life's traumas, and I have built a life that could have used a father's input, but which has had the benefit of a strong and independent mother.  You have been sorely missed, but it has been good anyway.  Perspective is everything, and my glass is three quarters full.