Chosen...

It is a gift to be a chosen person.  No matter what we are doing, we want to be picked, selected, wanted.  It pulls at our psyche to know that not only are we tolerated, we are, in fact, desired.  Whether it is being picked for a side in elementary PE or asked for a date by that special someone or becoming an employee at the place we most want to work, we want to be the one that someone else can't do without, the one who completes the picture, and makes the unfinished whole.

Big brothers...

Seventy years ago today, the world changed for my mom and dad when my brother was born.  They didn't know it then, of course, I was still 11 years away from making my own appearance, but the world changed for me that day, too, because I would get to be his little sister.  And what a lucky little sister I am.  Because my brother is really special.

It is well with my soul....

I am a musician, and I love almost all music.  I play piano, I sing, and I am in a band.  I am not a musical snob - I  will play or sing almost anything, as long as it has a tune, and I will probably find something to enjoy about it.

For example, I often listen to contemporary Christian music, and even sing it on a regular basis.  The message is usually simple but direct, and I like that.  Faith is complicated.  Sometimes it is nice to have a simple concept to draw on.  But I wonder...  will these songs still be sung in five years?  Do they, sometimes, lack substance?

World's Best Dad...

Each year on Father's Day, I feel the mixed emotions of love and loss.  Even after all these years, I still feel the love of my father as fresh as if it were yesterday that I last saw him.  He remains firmly in my heart, and no amount of passing time will ever change that love.

But I still miss him every day, in a million little unspoken, even unrecognized ways, as most people who have lost their father do.  You don't always think about it when you are missing someone.  You simply miss their presence in your life.  The unanswered questions.  The knowledge that never got imparted.  The life story you didn't get to share.  The years that you wanted but didn't get to have.  It is a significant loss, and one from which you will move forward, but never entirely beyond.

Freedom...

Today is the 75th anniversary of D Day.  On a day such as this, words are easy for me.  I could say a lot about the value of freedom, especially to speak negatively about our government when I disagree with the direction it is taking, or even to single out particular politicians with whom I disagree.  I think the First Amendment was a brilliant moment for our founding fathers, and this political freedom of speech is something I deeply cherish, perhaps more than any other right we have.

But today is not for political discussion.  Today is for remembering those who were willing to sacrifice everything for each of us to have the freedom we have, to liberate those who were suffering under a regime of hate and cruelty, and who took risks I would not want to bear in order to make the world a better place.

Today I remember those who fell on that awful day, and their families.  I am grateful for the sacrifice you made.

And today, I remember those who survived, and who have lived with the memories of that day ever since.  I am grateful for the sacrifice you made.

Freedom comes at great price.  I will never forget.  Thank you.  It is inadequate, but it is all I have.

Gone too soon....

I have been thinking a lot today, because it was the birthday of my youngest cousin, who would have been 53 years old.  She left this life much too soon, after a long battle with breast cancer, and my heart is still breaking with the loss.  She was irreplaceable in my life, as is everyone I love, and I miss her like crazy.  There is a hole in my heart that will never be filled, even as I have moved forward.

Mother's Day is not just for me and mine!

It is Mother's Day weekend, and naturally, I celebrate my own mother, who made a spectacular success of it.  (And who better to say so than her daughter, who got to see her in action up close and personal?)  Just as naturally, I celebrate my daughter, who is a wonderful mother to my two precious grandsons (the HUGE payoff for not strangling her when she was 15 and impossible, as I like to remind her whenever I can work it into the conversation!)

But I also know that there are a lot of people for whom Mother's Day is a painful reminder of what they don't have, whether through loss by death, or perhaps because they never had it in the first place.  We all have our own picture of the perfect mother in our heads.  Whatever your vision of her, most of us had some variation on that theme, and we know and appreciate how fortunate we were, or conversely, what we missed out on.

Life is not a competition....

I have seen a meme on facebook quite a few times about not judging others, because you don't know what is going on in their life.  I like that meme, because of the solid truth in it.  In fact, I have been thinking about that idea, and have taken it a step beyond.  I think that not only should we not judge, but instead, we should try to uplift wherever we can, because, quite simply, life is not a competition.  It is a communal event, and the better one does, the better we all do.

It is impossible to see inside the heart and soul of another person.  And although their life may not seem overwhelming to you, if it is to them, well, then it is.  Everyone's crisis is personal and overwhelming to them.  And really, does it matter whether it rises to your bar or not?

Calphalon shows the way...

Very rarely will I say anything about a brand online, for better or for worse, because that is not my deal.  (And to be clear, this is not a paid ad, because that is not my thing, either.)  I am making an exception today, because I think Calphalon deserves some extra credit and recognition for treating their customer well.  If anyone is thinking about buying new pots and pans for themselves or someone else, especially in this coming "wedding" season, you should seriously consider buying Calphalon.

Influencer.... When did this become a thing?

It has really come home to me in the last couple of weeks that I am not a part of the young and hip generation, no matter how young I feel inside my head and heart.  (Do they still say hip, or is that another way I have identified I am [late] middle aged?  And I am asking myself, was I ever hip to begin with?  Young?  Definitely.  But hip?  Hm.  Probably not.)

I have been seeing a lot in the news about a young woman who is reportedly no longer speaking to her parents because she blames them for ending her "career" as a Social Media Influencer.  [Never mind her own role in this whole debacle, which I won't even get into.  Personal responsibility doesn't seem to be A Thing with this group.]  Apparently this girl (and many others just like her) has made a small fortune being flown around the world by various companies she "represented" for the sake of flashing her photo having a good time on their dime, and people actually paid attention.  I can't believe any major company handed out these types of freebies for no reason, so obviously, it must bring them business.

Birthday song

Yesterday was a big day in a mom's life.  It was my daughter's birthday, and like most moms, I was reliving one of the most important and life changing days a person can experience.

Whether first, last, or one of several, the birth of child changes the world for you.  This helpless individual, completely dependent on your whims, is your full responsibility, and its a big one.  In this case, the child was even more helpless than most, being premature and in the NICU for some time before being allowed home.  She was just a morsel of humanity, light as a feather, and so fragile she couldn't even cry at first.  But the overwhelming love I felt was as big as the universe.  I would have done anything for her, from the first moment until this moment.

Escaping the past....

I very rarely discuss politics with anyone, because it has become such an incendiary topic these days.  The polar extremes have hijacked the process, and everything seems to be all or nothing, either or.  That doesn't represent the reality of my life, and I am tired of it all.

Life is nuanced, and there are infinite positions between A and Z.  But to find the middle ground, you have to actually be able to discuss the issues, and in the current climate of hate, fear and mistrust, we don't seem to be able to do that, either in Washington, or out in the real world.  So, like many others, I focus on my narrow life and avoid even the mention of anything controversial.

On life and living....

On February 1, 2001, I awakened to a pain so excruciating words are inadequate to describe it.  I am not a wimp about pain, but this was intolerable.  On the usual one to ten scale, this was definitely a 12.  I could not stand upright, and my side hurt with such a burning, searing pain I thought I was dying.  (As it turned out, I was, but I didn't know that yet.)

Evaluating one's self....

A couple of weeks ago I fell on the ice and hurt my knee.  It has been a painful, ever present reminder that I am not the master of my own universe, and that randomly, out of nowhere, there can be a whole new plan forced upon me.  I can do my best to stay on the narrow path, but sometimes icy spots trip you up.

I think these moments are valuable.  They force you to contemplate your well ordered existence, and jar you from your easy complacency.  My injured knee has caused me to evaluate my own life, and think about what is most important to me, an exercise which I think is important to do occasionally.