There is a time honored tradition amongst those who celebrate the holiday of Christmas, [as opposed to the "Winter Holiday" observed by popular culture these days.] The house is torn apart, and every single item on display is replaced with something red, green and festive, exhausting the women of the family before the holiday itself even arrives. This is an undertaking of hours and days and weeks duration, involving billions of dollars collectively, requiring ridiculous amounts of hard work, only to take it all apart again in just a few short weeks, reversing the work so recently accomplished.
I wonder if men have even a small idea of the exhaustion experienced by the women of the household as they prepare for the greatest show on earth. Apologies to Barnum and Bailey, but the circus has nothing on the three ring spectacular known as the Christmas holiday season, written and directed by women of the family, and merchants, everywhere.
From Thanksgiving to Christmas, it's a non-stop whirlwind of decorating, shopping, baking and twinkling lights, and the entire production is generally written, directed, produced and acted out by the legions of women running the family show the world over, with dads playing a minor supporting role. (Ah, those twinkling lights. Which, I am happy to report, are, in fact, still twinkling, at least in my case. I wish you luck with yours.)
I suppose that could be construed as a sexist remark, but in all honesty, who does the Christmas preparation in your household? When you think of your growing up years, who do you associate with all the sights and sounds of Christmas in your house? That's what I thought.
In my household, there is no "Father" figure any more. Actually, if you asked any of us, we would have to acknowledge that there never was, but that's another story. I do all the preparation work by default, just as I always have. From Thanksgiving to Christmas, it has always been my arena, and now that I am broke and have no time, it is more challenging than ever. Santa Claus, where are you? I don't want my two front teeth for Christmas, I want more hours in the day. Or perhaps two extra hands. And if you wanted to pad my bank account, I wouldn't object to that, either.
Not to digress, but my lovely teen aged daughter has a fetish for outside lights on houses. And I do mean ON the houses. It is not enough for her to throw some strings of lights on the bushes and call it a [cold] day. She would prefer to have the Griswald's come to life in our own household, and to light up the neighborhood with the results of our hard effort. To make a long story short, that isn't going to happen. Ever.
I have patiently explained to her many times that while women can, indeed, do anything they set their minds to, putting up lights on the house is a "dad" job. I don't want to discourage her from thinking that she can do anything interesting that she wants to do in her own life, I just want her to understand that if you want lights on your house, you need to marry wisely. A lesson I really wish I had learned earlier rather than later, so hopefully she will benefit by my abysmal example.
I am not sexist, you understand, I am parentist. I believe there are certain roles for which one parent or the other is simply better suited by nature. Lights on a house falls under the father category, as does trimming the tree trunk before sticking it into the stand. (Since we are short one father, we simply use the circular saw, which is cheaper and more efficient than my ex, Mr. Handy, and the crow bar and hand saw routine he used to employ.)
One of the sweetest things my daughter has ever said to me is that she wishes for me that someday I would have a man in my life that would put lights on my house. It was a wistful statement, and held a lot more than the simple words on their surface, of course. I knew exactly what she meant, and it makes me melt even now, just to think about it.
You may well be wondering what falls under the mother category. In the case of Christmas, the answer would be pretty much everything else. Which brings me to yesterday.
I spent all day, when I would rather have been writing on my blog, [obviously, keeping in touch with the many fans family wide who read my meanderings assiduously,] redecorating my living room to bring the festive nature of the season to the heart of our little abode. I worked my fingers to the bone, went up and down the ladder, and up and down the stairs, approximately 5,000 times, in order to make the house seasonal and celebratory.
I decorated the family room first to make it fun for the onslaught of teens rapidly heading in my direction. I strung the garland, hung the paper snowflakes, cleared and dusted and redecorated the entire room, making it a veritable festivity central. Which must have been appreciated, since they were here until the wee hours, long after Santa would have gotten bored and gone home, leaving stockings unfilled, if it were Christmas Eve.
Then I moved on the living room. More hauling, more climbing, more decorating. You never really know how much stuff you have until you start pulling it all out to decorate for Christmas. I recall when I was little looking into the boxes that came down from the cold upstairs, filled with the treasures of Christmas. It was always so exciting to see them appear, you knew good things were in store sooner rather than later. But there would still be things in the bottom of the box, and I couldn't understand why my mother didn't put up every last thing she owned.
Now that I have grown up, I find that I, too, leave things in the bottom of the box. There are simply too many things to put them all out. I have lighting and other things that there is just no place for any more, but I can't bear to discard it, either. So instead, I hang on to it, just in case the day arrives when it will once again be appropriate in my home. I am learning from my mother, it seems, to the detriment of my basement space.
Thus I find myself this morning, sitting in my newly redecorated space, happily enjoying the beauty of the surroundings, and feeling more festive just to look around. I put another number on my advent calendar, bringing me one day closer to the magical day of Christmas. I am reminded, through the nativity sets that I have set up in the middle of my room, what the real reason for the season is, whose advent we are celebrating. I see a few small gifts under the tree, offerings of love to my family to let them know that I care about them, and cherish their joy more than anything.
And I realize, once again, that I am lucky to be the mom, the purveyor of the family dreams and traditions, the one around whom the outward, secular celebration of Christmas, at least in my household, swirls. My family's joy and fun and happiness in this season are augmented by the hours of work and effort that I put into it, and that is my reward. Parentist though it may be, my children will never be without the memories of my hard work and extra efforts, even when I am long gone. Sometimes it is good to be the mom.
Most times, really. Except at 2:30 in the morning when some goofy boy shows up unannounced to throw wood chips at the window of your teenaged daughter, like some love struck Cyrano de Bergerac on a hormone high. That is a dad thing to handle, and since we are one short, I have to fill in, and it's not my deal AT ALL. But anyway....
Like most women, when I sit back on Christmas Day and think about how everything went for us this year, I can feel the satisfaction of a holiday season well done. The cards got written and mailed, the baking will get done [thanks, Mom,] the decorations were put up, the tree was acquired, the stockings were filled, the gifts which betoken our love for one another were duly appreciated, pictures will have been snapped, and at the bottom of it all, the hard work will have been worth it, because the people I love most will have had one more Christmas to add to their storehouse of memories.
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Ho! Ho! Cold!
Yesterday, when I left home at 8 a.m., the sky was overcast, but it wasn't that cold out, and I didn't give a second thought to what the day might bring. I worked inside all morning, and by the time I emerged from my igloo of jello boxes and Ramen noodles, my particular area that I was managing during my duties as a volunteer for the Johnson County Christmas Bureau, the snow had fallen, the ice had formed an unseen layer on the roadways, and I was at serious risk driving around the rest of the day.
Although this wasn't the first snow of the season, it was the first real snowfall of this winter. The first time it snowed was on a weekend, and no one was out, nor was it more than a thin layer atop the grass. There was no need to emerge from the safety of our warm and cozy homes, so the damage was limited and short term, since it melted almost immediately.
This time, the snow fell harder, longer, and colder, and it has not only stayed, it has accumulated, the real measure of whether it is officially winter, a least in my mind. I woke up this morning to blue sky, the sun is now shining, and the snow is glistening and shimmering like crystals tossed carelessly on a jeweler's countertop.
Having grown up in Minnesota, I lived there for the first 27 years of my life, I am very familiar with the white gift from the sky. I am aware that some people really love the snow, and consider it to be a real thrill to see it drifting to earth from on high. I have never been a fan. If I could, I would return it for sand and beach.
So it was a disconcerting moment for me to emerge from the cool safety of the Christmas distribution into the cold, snowy reality. First things first, cleaning off the truck. Problem there. No coat. No gloves. No brush. Ugh.
I swept aside my aggravation along with the snow, and opened my door. Naturally, the seat was inundated with a shower of snow, which stuck in the fibers of the seat, with the inevitable outcome that entails. [Meaning, if I had a tail, it would have been wet by the time I next emerged from the truck.]
But eventually, I was situated and on my way. Next problem. My rear wheel drive truck sliding into the street unbidden and undriven. Or at least not intentionally driven that way. That was how I learned about the ice under the snowy crust on the surface of the road.
Fortunately, no accident for me, no cars were coming at that moment, which is far more luck than skill, I can assure you. Eventually, I arrived back at my home, and I remained snuggled inside my warm and cozy abode for the remainder of the bleak and snowy day.
I was reminded, watching the flakes meandering lazily from the sky, that there was a time when snow signified a magical opportunity to run outside and mess up the pristine surface, to shuffle and run and make the snow fly up like my own personal blizzard.
There was a time when the falling flakes triggered a desire to pull out the sled or the cross country skis [stop snickering, I used to be pretty fair at it,] and shoosh and slide my way through the crisp winter wonderland that suddenly transformed the familiar boring landscape into something new and almost mysterious.
There is little of the mystery and thrill remaining for me any more. I am a sun worshipper, someone who sees the snow as the enemy to be defeated and overcome. Snow, these days, is an obstacle for the most part, to be hurdled and then disregarded.
But for a brief moment last night, as I glanced out the window while closing the blinds, and saw my twinkling lights shimmering and sparkling under the new white coats on each little bulb, [remarkably, they are still working, for now,] I felt that unbidden thrill of possibility that the first real snow of the year always incites in the child hidden within. For that second in time, I felt the cold on my nose, recalled the crisp air and the wet mittens and the snow pants and boots and the feel of the sled underneath me flying down the little hill behind my house, and tasted the tantalizing possiblities once again that makes childhood so magical.
I am suddenly inspired to finish my work day early, and get the house prepared for Santa to come calling. Ho, ho, ho! Some hot chocolate is in order, I think. Marshmallows, anyone?
Although this wasn't the first snow of the season, it was the first real snowfall of this winter. The first time it snowed was on a weekend, and no one was out, nor was it more than a thin layer atop the grass. There was no need to emerge from the safety of our warm and cozy homes, so the damage was limited and short term, since it melted almost immediately.
This time, the snow fell harder, longer, and colder, and it has not only stayed, it has accumulated, the real measure of whether it is officially winter, a least in my mind. I woke up this morning to blue sky, the sun is now shining, and the snow is glistening and shimmering like crystals tossed carelessly on a jeweler's countertop.
Having grown up in Minnesota, I lived there for the first 27 years of my life, I am very familiar with the white gift from the sky. I am aware that some people really love the snow, and consider it to be a real thrill to see it drifting to earth from on high. I have never been a fan. If I could, I would return it for sand and beach.
So it was a disconcerting moment for me to emerge from the cool safety of the Christmas distribution into the cold, snowy reality. First things first, cleaning off the truck. Problem there. No coat. No gloves. No brush. Ugh.
I swept aside my aggravation along with the snow, and opened my door. Naturally, the seat was inundated with a shower of snow, which stuck in the fibers of the seat, with the inevitable outcome that entails. [Meaning, if I had a tail, it would have been wet by the time I next emerged from the truck.]
But eventually, I was situated and on my way. Next problem. My rear wheel drive truck sliding into the street unbidden and undriven. Or at least not intentionally driven that way. That was how I learned about the ice under the snowy crust on the surface of the road.
Fortunately, no accident for me, no cars were coming at that moment, which is far more luck than skill, I can assure you. Eventually, I arrived back at my home, and I remained snuggled inside my warm and cozy abode for the remainder of the bleak and snowy day.
I was reminded, watching the flakes meandering lazily from the sky, that there was a time when snow signified a magical opportunity to run outside and mess up the pristine surface, to shuffle and run and make the snow fly up like my own personal blizzard.
There was a time when the falling flakes triggered a desire to pull out the sled or the cross country skis [stop snickering, I used to be pretty fair at it,] and shoosh and slide my way through the crisp winter wonderland that suddenly transformed the familiar boring landscape into something new and almost mysterious.
There is little of the mystery and thrill remaining for me any more. I am a sun worshipper, someone who sees the snow as the enemy to be defeated and overcome. Snow, these days, is an obstacle for the most part, to be hurdled and then disregarded.
But for a brief moment last night, as I glanced out the window while closing the blinds, and saw my twinkling lights shimmering and sparkling under the new white coats on each little bulb, [remarkably, they are still working, for now,] I felt that unbidden thrill of possibility that the first real snow of the year always incites in the child hidden within. For that second in time, I felt the cold on my nose, recalled the crisp air and the wet mittens and the snow pants and boots and the feel of the sled underneath me flying down the little hill behind my house, and tasted the tantalizing possiblities once again that makes childhood so magical.
I am suddenly inspired to finish my work day early, and get the house prepared for Santa to come calling. Ho, ho, ho! Some hot chocolate is in order, I think. Marshmallows, anyone?
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
No parties in prison
I simply could not be more gobsmacked tonight, considering the case of Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich. In case you have been under a rock today, Blagojevich is the currently under indictment nitwit who was apparently caught on tape, no less, selling a senate seat to the highest bidder, which in the end, threatened to be himself.
I am not usually one to be surprised by anything a politician does. I have been known to opine that they are all corrupt, that they are all in it for themselves, and that I don't trust any of them. So you would think I would take this in stride as a matter of course, a confirmation that, in fact, my cynicsm is justified.
However, I have surprised myself this time. Apparently, hidden somewhere deep inside, I harbor some latent hope that the people who want to lead this country are better than I think they are. Who knew? But it must be so, because tonight I find myself struggling to wrap my mind around this episode and, quite simply, failing. Utterly.
One can only shake the head and ask, WHAT on EARTH could he have been thinking? The nature of the indictment against him is so sweeping, so devastating, one is left to wonder if the man was delusional, or just simply that arrogant? Quite possibly both.
The level of stupidity involved in this situation is simply dumbfounding. There is no way to make sense of someone who had such blatant disrespect for the law, who was so lacking in understanding of the rules of public and private conduct, and who so clearly believed, deep down inside himself, that the law did not apply to him, that he was willing to openly do something that was self-evidently, and explicitly illegal, and he thought it wouldn't matter a bit. He IS, after all, the governor. Surely the rules are different for him.
We have seen plenty of famous people tripped up by stupidity - actors (Ryan O'Neal,) politicians (Eliot Spitzer,) athletes, (OJ Simpson.) There are legions of stupid people out there doing stupid things, and getting caught. What IS it with powerful people that seems to make them think they are immune from the rules of civilized conduct that the rest of us must observe?
However, the stupidity of this particular situation is beyond my ability to make sense of it. It is so idiotic, it makes you think there has to be more to the story than meets the eye, just because it is so totally absurd, it couldn't possibly be what it seems. And yet, no other explanation for what I heard he said on tape comes to mind.
In our local daily paper, which allows online comments, the trolls are out in full force, commenting and painting all Liberals, their code word for enemy, as the scourge of the earth. It's not unexpected, but disheartening, none the less.
Because this is not a party crime. This was not something sanctioned by anyone, except the Governor himself, and it certainly isn't any more reflective of the party voters than any other criminal that was elected to any higher office is reflective of their party. There are enough examples on both sides of the aisle to fill the plate without expending energy on throwing poisoned arrows at your imaginary foes. Frankly, who needs enemies, when our own elected officials, the very people leading us, are so blatantly and brazenly against us.
I do not agree with George Bush often, as my nearest and dearest will certainly be happy to confirm. But his old line, "Either you are with us, or you are against us," could not be more true than in this case. If you are betraying the trust of your elected office by putting up for sale to the most advantageous bidder an elected office in our federal government, or any government, for that matter, in my opinion, that is treason, and should be treated accordingly.
In the case of corrupt politicians, they are stealing democracy from us all. I am an equal opportunity disdainer. Oh for dumb. That's all I have to say.
I am not usually one to be surprised by anything a politician does. I have been known to opine that they are all corrupt, that they are all in it for themselves, and that I don't trust any of them. So you would think I would take this in stride as a matter of course, a confirmation that, in fact, my cynicsm is justified.
However, I have surprised myself this time. Apparently, hidden somewhere deep inside, I harbor some latent hope that the people who want to lead this country are better than I think they are. Who knew? But it must be so, because tonight I find myself struggling to wrap my mind around this episode and, quite simply, failing. Utterly.
One can only shake the head and ask, WHAT on EARTH could he have been thinking? The nature of the indictment against him is so sweeping, so devastating, one is left to wonder if the man was delusional, or just simply that arrogant? Quite possibly both.
The level of stupidity involved in this situation is simply dumbfounding. There is no way to make sense of someone who had such blatant disrespect for the law, who was so lacking in understanding of the rules of public and private conduct, and who so clearly believed, deep down inside himself, that the law did not apply to him, that he was willing to openly do something that was self-evidently, and explicitly illegal, and he thought it wouldn't matter a bit. He IS, after all, the governor. Surely the rules are different for him.
We have seen plenty of famous people tripped up by stupidity - actors (Ryan O'Neal,) politicians (Eliot Spitzer,) athletes, (OJ Simpson.) There are legions of stupid people out there doing stupid things, and getting caught. What IS it with powerful people that seems to make them think they are immune from the rules of civilized conduct that the rest of us must observe?
However, the stupidity of this particular situation is beyond my ability to make sense of it. It is so idiotic, it makes you think there has to be more to the story than meets the eye, just because it is so totally absurd, it couldn't possibly be what it seems. And yet, no other explanation for what I heard he said on tape comes to mind.
In our local daily paper, which allows online comments, the trolls are out in full force, commenting and painting all Liberals, their code word for enemy, as the scourge of the earth. It's not unexpected, but disheartening, none the less.
Because this is not a party crime. This was not something sanctioned by anyone, except the Governor himself, and it certainly isn't any more reflective of the party voters than any other criminal that was elected to any higher office is reflective of their party. There are enough examples on both sides of the aisle to fill the plate without expending energy on throwing poisoned arrows at your imaginary foes. Frankly, who needs enemies, when our own elected officials, the very people leading us, are so blatantly and brazenly against us.
I do not agree with George Bush often, as my nearest and dearest will certainly be happy to confirm. But his old line, "Either you are with us, or you are against us," could not be more true than in this case. If you are betraying the trust of your elected office by putting up for sale to the most advantageous bidder an elected office in our federal government, or any government, for that matter, in my opinion, that is treason, and should be treated accordingly.
In the case of corrupt politicians, they are stealing democracy from us all. I am an equal opportunity disdainer. Oh for dumb. That's all I have to say.
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Disposable society
We live in what most people will acknowledge is a disposable society these days. We think nothing of throwing anything away, no matter what it is. A two year old computer is now obsolete, so out it goes to the landfill. Batteries don't work? Into the trash. All of our televisions will soon be unable to cope with HDTV signals coming in without help, and I am certain we will see an onslaught of them trucked into landfills across the country.
At this rate, we will soon have added another layer to the earth's crust. Geologists will call it Plasticus Fillitup, and future generations will no doubt marvel at how a layer of plastic could have formed just under the surface of the earth. It will probably be a whole new discipline of study.
Our culture has engaged in this disposable embrace for some time, of course. Ask about having any electronic item you own repaired, and you will find out pretty quickly just how little opportunity there is to reuse nowadays. Even pets are considered just a temporary commitment by too many people - here today, inconvenient tomorrow, so out they go to fend for themselves, or off to a shelter and good luck and goodbye.
We have now seen extremes of this throwaway attitude with the recent dropping off of teenagers in Nebraska, where parents at wit's end came from all over the country to dump their children on the state to deal with, because they simply don't know what else to do, as if the kid is an unwanted pet or an old refrigerator. What does that say about us as a society, if we place so little value on anything, that everything is on the throwaway list, including our children?
You are no doubt wondering what got me started on this jag. Well, it is the annual ritual of putting up the Christmas lighting display outdoors, which sets me off every year. This year was no different. What IS it with twinkle light manufacturers that makes them think you should be willing to buy 15 sets of new lights every single year? Because that is the quality with which they appear to be made.
It is infuriating to spend money every single year replacing light strings that you bought just 12 short months ago, and which do not make it through even one season, it seems, without half or more of the strand simply dying on the vine, literally. I realize they have a fiduciary duty to their stockholders to make money, but isn't there at least some responsibility to their customers, too, to produce a product that lives longer than an average house fly?
I was armed for battle this year, ready to revolt the poor quality lighting situation by boycotting the entire exercise, when I was stopped in my tracks by a daughter bent on having cheerful lights to greet her at the door when she arrives home from work. There is only so much pressure a person can take, and that just wasn't worth it.
So off I went to the nether regions of my house to find the recalcitrant lights, and see what could be done. Which was, in brief, not much. Shortly thereafter, my annual pilgrimage to Walmart commenced, following the star, or at least the twinkle lights, to once again festivize the exterior of my home for other people to enjoy.
Thus it was that AS I was putting up yet another new string of lights, pulled from the packaging moments beforehand, the blues and greens went out on me. I was not a happy consumer, standing out there in the cold, throwing the string around like a lariat come to life, trying to show that recalcitrant strand who was boss. I eventually got them going again, [for now, anyway,] but I have no illusions about their longevity, after the initial outage incident.
There is a larger issue here for me. I believe that we are stewards of the earth, and that God has left us to our own devices with rather strict instructions that we were to have dominion over the whole of the globe. [Although I notice there is no mention of dominating the universe, something which gives me pause.] With dominion comes responsibility, and I think we have fallen down on the job rather spectacularly.
I recently viewed a program about archaeologists excitedly excavating an ancient site. My own personal reservations about disrupting the eternal resting places of the dearly departed aside, it is pretty interesting stuff, because you can find out a lot about people from excavating their living spaces a few centuries into the future. Not surprisingly, the thing they were most excited about was the finding of the ancient equivalent of a landfill, because it held a mine of information about the culture that threw those objects away.
I wonder what a 31 century archaeologist would think about our culture, based on what is in our landfills. They will give a wealth of information, I have no doubt, because they are full of the plastic and metal articles that will be the gifts that keep on giving for hundreds or even thousands of years. But what will that information say about us as people? As stewards of the earth? Or even of our own civilization?
I shudder to imagine their reaction on finding what we have casually thrown away, still there a thousand years from now. I wonder how many CD's there will be, how many CRT monitors, stoves, refrigerators, televisions.... The list is long, and growing daily.
And while we think that we have fully documented our lives and our civilization, and everything will always be known about us and our culture, it is illusion. The reality is that it can all be wiped out in one catastrophic incident, and the archaeologists of the future may know only what they find. I don't know about you, but I don't think some broken appliances and millions of strings of twinkle lights are going to say much that is worth knowing about us.
The whole throwaway attitude rather ironically reminds me of my mom, who, having been raised as a depression child, has the motto, "Never throw anything away. You just never know when you will need it." She saves everything, and her house is a treasure trove of stuff that you might need some day. My mother was a green thinker long before it was the trendy thing to do. She has reused, and reworked, and redone things as a way of life, her entire life, and she knows how to make things last.
She has fixed things that other people wouldn't even think about saving, like her bread maker, which has gone on years longer than it's expected, or projected, life span. She doesn't believe in buying something new when you can make do with the old. She puts function ahead of form on a regular basis. [Except for me. I am totally form, completely dysfunctional most of the time, and she puts up with me anyway.]
I am genuinely wondering if the current recession will change the long held habits of the buying public, which has never seen a sale it can't exploit. The roots of this recession run deep through the fabric of our society, I believe, and go to the heart of how American companies have done business over the last 25 years or so.
The short term benefits have consistently trumped the long term viability of almost every company in business today. That is a way of thinking that consumers seem to have embraced with enthusiasm, since there is no demand for products that last, but rather, a rush to the stores to buy new with such zeal that we will literally trample the person in front of us to get the latest gadget or trinket. Even if it costs someone else their life for us to do so.
This is a method of doing business that cannot, in the long haul, be sustained. Companies today are bought and sold on the basis of what you did for me today, rather than what the long term prospects may be. Even profitable is not good enough any more for the rampant investment from overseas, and American companies are consistently dismantled for under-performing, even as they post positive profits.
So, in getting back to the tale of the twinkle lights that set off this little rant, I had two strings of lights on which I simply refused to give up, mom-style. [She probably has strings of lights she is using that are older than I am, and if she can persevere, so can I. She is my role model, after all. I would say she is my idol, but she is a Minnesota Lutheran, and wouldn't be comfortable with that kind of fuss.] Both strings were new last year, and are the expensive kind with the controls that will allow you to have them do a variety different lighting schemes. In my view, there is no excuse for strings of lights that won't work for two consecutive years, and I was going to make them work, whatever it took. Thus, I spent all day Sunday pulling the little lights out, replacing, testing, until in the end, partial success.
One string of those lights is currently on my bushes outside, twinkling merrily on high, at least for today. The other string has been relocated to an undisclosed location, the details of which are a deeply guarded secret. We won't talk about those right now. Suffice it to say, they have not seen the last of me. I have my moral victory, and justice will be served.
At this rate, we will soon have added another layer to the earth's crust. Geologists will call it Plasticus Fillitup, and future generations will no doubt marvel at how a layer of plastic could have formed just under the surface of the earth. It will probably be a whole new discipline of study.
Our culture has engaged in this disposable embrace for some time, of course. Ask about having any electronic item you own repaired, and you will find out pretty quickly just how little opportunity there is to reuse nowadays. Even pets are considered just a temporary commitment by too many people - here today, inconvenient tomorrow, so out they go to fend for themselves, or off to a shelter and good luck and goodbye.
We have now seen extremes of this throwaway attitude with the recent dropping off of teenagers in Nebraska, where parents at wit's end came from all over the country to dump their children on the state to deal with, because they simply don't know what else to do, as if the kid is an unwanted pet or an old refrigerator. What does that say about us as a society, if we place so little value on anything, that everything is on the throwaway list, including our children?
You are no doubt wondering what got me started on this jag. Well, it is the annual ritual of putting up the Christmas lighting display outdoors, which sets me off every year. This year was no different. What IS it with twinkle light manufacturers that makes them think you should be willing to buy 15 sets of new lights every single year? Because that is the quality with which they appear to be made.
It is infuriating to spend money every single year replacing light strings that you bought just 12 short months ago, and which do not make it through even one season, it seems, without half or more of the strand simply dying on the vine, literally. I realize they have a fiduciary duty to their stockholders to make money, but isn't there at least some responsibility to their customers, too, to produce a product that lives longer than an average house fly?
I was armed for battle this year, ready to revolt the poor quality lighting situation by boycotting the entire exercise, when I was stopped in my tracks by a daughter bent on having cheerful lights to greet her at the door when she arrives home from work. There is only so much pressure a person can take, and that just wasn't worth it.
So off I went to the nether regions of my house to find the recalcitrant lights, and see what could be done. Which was, in brief, not much. Shortly thereafter, my annual pilgrimage to Walmart commenced, following the star, or at least the twinkle lights, to once again festivize the exterior of my home for other people to enjoy.
Thus it was that AS I was putting up yet another new string of lights, pulled from the packaging moments beforehand, the blues and greens went out on me. I was not a happy consumer, standing out there in the cold, throwing the string around like a lariat come to life, trying to show that recalcitrant strand who was boss. I eventually got them going again, [for now, anyway,] but I have no illusions about their longevity, after the initial outage incident.
There is a larger issue here for me. I believe that we are stewards of the earth, and that God has left us to our own devices with rather strict instructions that we were to have dominion over the whole of the globe. [Although I notice there is no mention of dominating the universe, something which gives me pause.] With dominion comes responsibility, and I think we have fallen down on the job rather spectacularly.
I recently viewed a program about archaeologists excitedly excavating an ancient site. My own personal reservations about disrupting the eternal resting places of the dearly departed aside, it is pretty interesting stuff, because you can find out a lot about people from excavating their living spaces a few centuries into the future. Not surprisingly, the thing they were most excited about was the finding of the ancient equivalent of a landfill, because it held a mine of information about the culture that threw those objects away.
I wonder what a 31 century archaeologist would think about our culture, based on what is in our landfills. They will give a wealth of information, I have no doubt, because they are full of the plastic and metal articles that will be the gifts that keep on giving for hundreds or even thousands of years. But what will that information say about us as people? As stewards of the earth? Or even of our own civilization?
I shudder to imagine their reaction on finding what we have casually thrown away, still there a thousand years from now. I wonder how many CD's there will be, how many CRT monitors, stoves, refrigerators, televisions.... The list is long, and growing daily.
And while we think that we have fully documented our lives and our civilization, and everything will always be known about us and our culture, it is illusion. The reality is that it can all be wiped out in one catastrophic incident, and the archaeologists of the future may know only what they find. I don't know about you, but I don't think some broken appliances and millions of strings of twinkle lights are going to say much that is worth knowing about us.
The whole throwaway attitude rather ironically reminds me of my mom, who, having been raised as a depression child, has the motto, "Never throw anything away. You just never know when you will need it." She saves everything, and her house is a treasure trove of stuff that you might need some day. My mother was a green thinker long before it was the trendy thing to do. She has reused, and reworked, and redone things as a way of life, her entire life, and she knows how to make things last.
She has fixed things that other people wouldn't even think about saving, like her bread maker, which has gone on years longer than it's expected, or projected, life span. She doesn't believe in buying something new when you can make do with the old. She puts function ahead of form on a regular basis. [Except for me. I am totally form, completely dysfunctional most of the time, and she puts up with me anyway.]
I am genuinely wondering if the current recession will change the long held habits of the buying public, which has never seen a sale it can't exploit. The roots of this recession run deep through the fabric of our society, I believe, and go to the heart of how American companies have done business over the last 25 years or so.
The short term benefits have consistently trumped the long term viability of almost every company in business today. That is a way of thinking that consumers seem to have embraced with enthusiasm, since there is no demand for products that last, but rather, a rush to the stores to buy new with such zeal that we will literally trample the person in front of us to get the latest gadget or trinket. Even if it costs someone else their life for us to do so.
This is a method of doing business that cannot, in the long haul, be sustained. Companies today are bought and sold on the basis of what you did for me today, rather than what the long term prospects may be. Even profitable is not good enough any more for the rampant investment from overseas, and American companies are consistently dismantled for under-performing, even as they post positive profits.
So, in getting back to the tale of the twinkle lights that set off this little rant, I had two strings of lights on which I simply refused to give up, mom-style. [She probably has strings of lights she is using that are older than I am, and if she can persevere, so can I. She is my role model, after all. I would say she is my idol, but she is a Minnesota Lutheran, and wouldn't be comfortable with that kind of fuss.] Both strings were new last year, and are the expensive kind with the controls that will allow you to have them do a variety different lighting schemes. In my view, there is no excuse for strings of lights that won't work for two consecutive years, and I was going to make them work, whatever it took. Thus, I spent all day Sunday pulling the little lights out, replacing, testing, until in the end, partial success.
One string of those lights is currently on my bushes outside, twinkling merrily on high, at least for today. The other string has been relocated to an undisclosed location, the details of which are a deeply guarded secret. We won't talk about those right now. Suffice it to say, they have not seen the last of me. I have my moral victory, and justice will be served.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
I'm out of my tree
I had this Thanksgiving weekend fully planned out, strategically designed to maximize the time to get everything done that needed to be completed before my Wildcat son returned to the land of purple gloom.
Unfortunately, my highly coordinated plans derailed early in the week, and have never gotten back on track since. The weekend is nearly over, the Thanksgiving holiday is almost gone, and I have yet to do anything that I most wanted to accomplish, other than baking a turkey, which wasn't without a hitch in and of itself.
I did get out to the stores, where the holiday season is now underway in full force. Retailers are pulling out all the stops, in a crescendo of buying enticements designed to pull in even the most reluctant of spenders. Each year I feel increasingly disconnected from the buying frenzy - with no small children, there is no hot toy to be had, no item without which Christmas will be less magical.
Instead, I can now take time and be more thoughtful, giving gifts that are unique and designed to be appealing to the gifted for their sentimental value, more than any monetary value that they might have attached to them. Some of the happiest gifts I've ever been given would not require an insurance rider for their value, but they are irreplaceable for me, and priceless.
The one thing I most wanted to do with both of my kids present seems slightly out of reach at this moment. Without the centerpiece of the celebration, the rest of it doesn't really seem to inspire the holiday spirit in me, even if I did finally get the cards in the mail, and the decorating spirit is now moving within.
Yesterday, when I got up, it was with the full intention of getting our Christmas tree, that sublimely scented symbol of Christian renewal that fills home and nostrils with the eminence of the holiday. Unfortunately, Mother Nature was not on the same page.
First it was raining, then it was snowing, then it was raining again. If you do not know my family, we are not the hardy pioneer stock that settled this prairie land so many years ago. At the first sign of precipitation, I would hear a chorus of complaints about the cold, not wanting to get shoes wet, and the urgency of doing something, anything, other than experiencing the great outdoors in all it's wet glory.
Naturally, knowing this about my family, I immediately revised my original plan, putting off the tree expedition for today, before Adam leaves. I used my time wisely, getting out my Christmas cards which I traditionally mail on Thanksgiving Day, but which had crept up and surprised me undone this year. I thought surely it would be a more fortuitous day for the celebration of green today, since it rarely snows this early, and when it does, it generally melts immediately.
When I got up this morning, however, it was not to sunshine and dry ground. On the contrary, there is actual SNOW out there, and it seems to be making a home on my lawn. Which does not bode well for the procurement process, I must say. I rather fear that this annual Thanksgiving weekend event is going to be waylaid by the weather. I fear we will not find ourselves in possession of our Tannenbaum at the end of the day, and all that glitters in our household will not be ornaments and twinkle lights on a tree.
I am eager to hustle out and get this tree, so I will have the opportunity to get full enjoyment of it, and will be able to see it and experience it as long as possible. Thus, this morning, my disappointment, as I realize that the tree will probably have to wait for another day.
My tree means a lot to me, more now than it used to, in fact. It is disappointing to me to have to put off this annual exercise in family unity, as we come to negotiated agreement on which evergreen will best represent the holiday spirit for each one of us. It is the usual culminating experience of Thanksgiving for me, and it is a moment that I treasure each year, at least in part because it is something the three of us have always had fun doing together.
One of the best things about being divorced, I've found, is the ability to make any decision I want without regard to another person's wishes. [Well, except for my children, who pretty much dictate everything all the time.] When I was married, we had a "pretty" tree, with lovely crystal, glass, and porcelain ornaments for the main floor living room. It was a formal tree, to match the formal room in which it was situated, a room that was rarely used, uncomfortable, a pass through place with little value to me.
When I got divorced, one of the things I needed to do was to eliminate that formal room, and replace it with one that was welcoming and pleasant, one in which people who entered our front door would wish to sit and visit awhile. I sold off the furniture, which was very serviceable still, since it was rarely used, and bought some contemporary items that are fun and comfortable.
Another thing I did, to go along with that new casual comfort, was to move the family tree, the one with all the fun kid's ornaments that we have collected over the years, upstairs to the space where we spend all our time. It is, in some ways, a metaphor for my divorced life, that the family tree which was once relegated to the unseen level, where it was rarely enjoyed, is now front and center, and in full view of everyone who comes to the door.
I still have my fancy tree, of course. I think this year it will be in the family room downstairs, which is enjoyed by teens on a fairly regular basis, and they may enjoy having that space decorated for them, too.
But the one I most look forward to is the one that will occupy center stage, the focal point of our holiday decorations. I look forward to unpacking the clothespin Rudolph that my son made for me when he was little. I love the Gingerbread Man with the missing Red Hot buttons that my daughter made for me when she was in preschool.
When my son was born, I began a tradition of giving him an ornament every year, thinking that by the time he was grown and had a tree of his own, he would have a lovely starter set of ornaments that would be meaningful and important to him. He is now 23, and his ornaments fill that tree with warm memories of happy occasions, and my daughter's ornaments do the same. I have a few that I have been given as well, not the beautiful crystal and glass decorations of the formal tree, but warm and happy informal decorations, like the informality that rules in my post-married life.
I will have my tree sooner or later, and it will be beautiful as always. I will decorate it with twinkling lights and our precious ornaments of years already gone, and the memories that we each hold as the ornaments move from box to tree will warm our hearts and brighten our spirits.
Each time I look at the tree, I will be reminded that although my life has changed over the years, and things look very different now, change isn't always a bad thing. Sometimes, a transformation is what you need to make your life full and complete.
Oh Christmas Tree, oh Christmas Tree, your branches green delight us. I can't wait to bring you home, and enjoy the glory that is the Christmas season once again!
Unfortunately, my highly coordinated plans derailed early in the week, and have never gotten back on track since. The weekend is nearly over, the Thanksgiving holiday is almost gone, and I have yet to do anything that I most wanted to accomplish, other than baking a turkey, which wasn't without a hitch in and of itself.
I did get out to the stores, where the holiday season is now underway in full force. Retailers are pulling out all the stops, in a crescendo of buying enticements designed to pull in even the most reluctant of spenders. Each year I feel increasingly disconnected from the buying frenzy - with no small children, there is no hot toy to be had, no item without which Christmas will be less magical.
Instead, I can now take time and be more thoughtful, giving gifts that are unique and designed to be appealing to the gifted for their sentimental value, more than any monetary value that they might have attached to them. Some of the happiest gifts I've ever been given would not require an insurance rider for their value, but they are irreplaceable for me, and priceless.
The one thing I most wanted to do with both of my kids present seems slightly out of reach at this moment. Without the centerpiece of the celebration, the rest of it doesn't really seem to inspire the holiday spirit in me, even if I did finally get the cards in the mail, and the decorating spirit is now moving within.
Yesterday, when I got up, it was with the full intention of getting our Christmas tree, that sublimely scented symbol of Christian renewal that fills home and nostrils with the eminence of the holiday. Unfortunately, Mother Nature was not on the same page.
First it was raining, then it was snowing, then it was raining again. If you do not know my family, we are not the hardy pioneer stock that settled this prairie land so many years ago. At the first sign of precipitation, I would hear a chorus of complaints about the cold, not wanting to get shoes wet, and the urgency of doing something, anything, other than experiencing the great outdoors in all it's wet glory.
Naturally, knowing this about my family, I immediately revised my original plan, putting off the tree expedition for today, before Adam leaves. I used my time wisely, getting out my Christmas cards which I traditionally mail on Thanksgiving Day, but which had crept up and surprised me undone this year. I thought surely it would be a more fortuitous day for the celebration of green today, since it rarely snows this early, and when it does, it generally melts immediately.
When I got up this morning, however, it was not to sunshine and dry ground. On the contrary, there is actual SNOW out there, and it seems to be making a home on my lawn. Which does not bode well for the procurement process, I must say. I rather fear that this annual Thanksgiving weekend event is going to be waylaid by the weather. I fear we will not find ourselves in possession of our Tannenbaum at the end of the day, and all that glitters in our household will not be ornaments and twinkle lights on a tree.
I am eager to hustle out and get this tree, so I will have the opportunity to get full enjoyment of it, and will be able to see it and experience it as long as possible. Thus, this morning, my disappointment, as I realize that the tree will probably have to wait for another day.
My tree means a lot to me, more now than it used to, in fact. It is disappointing to me to have to put off this annual exercise in family unity, as we come to negotiated agreement on which evergreen will best represent the holiday spirit for each one of us. It is the usual culminating experience of Thanksgiving for me, and it is a moment that I treasure each year, at least in part because it is something the three of us have always had fun doing together.
One of the best things about being divorced, I've found, is the ability to make any decision I want without regard to another person's wishes. [Well, except for my children, who pretty much dictate everything all the time.] When I was married, we had a "pretty" tree, with lovely crystal, glass, and porcelain ornaments for the main floor living room. It was a formal tree, to match the formal room in which it was situated, a room that was rarely used, uncomfortable, a pass through place with little value to me.
When I got divorced, one of the things I needed to do was to eliminate that formal room, and replace it with one that was welcoming and pleasant, one in which people who entered our front door would wish to sit and visit awhile. I sold off the furniture, which was very serviceable still, since it was rarely used, and bought some contemporary items that are fun and comfortable.
Another thing I did, to go along with that new casual comfort, was to move the family tree, the one with all the fun kid's ornaments that we have collected over the years, upstairs to the space where we spend all our time. It is, in some ways, a metaphor for my divorced life, that the family tree which was once relegated to the unseen level, where it was rarely enjoyed, is now front and center, and in full view of everyone who comes to the door.
I still have my fancy tree, of course. I think this year it will be in the family room downstairs, which is enjoyed by teens on a fairly regular basis, and they may enjoy having that space decorated for them, too.
But the one I most look forward to is the one that will occupy center stage, the focal point of our holiday decorations. I look forward to unpacking the clothespin Rudolph that my son made for me when he was little. I love the Gingerbread Man with the missing Red Hot buttons that my daughter made for me when she was in preschool.
When my son was born, I began a tradition of giving him an ornament every year, thinking that by the time he was grown and had a tree of his own, he would have a lovely starter set of ornaments that would be meaningful and important to him. He is now 23, and his ornaments fill that tree with warm memories of happy occasions, and my daughter's ornaments do the same. I have a few that I have been given as well, not the beautiful crystal and glass decorations of the formal tree, but warm and happy informal decorations, like the informality that rules in my post-married life.
I will have my tree sooner or later, and it will be beautiful as always. I will decorate it with twinkling lights and our precious ornaments of years already gone, and the memories that we each hold as the ornaments move from box to tree will warm our hearts and brighten our spirits.
Each time I look at the tree, I will be reminded that although my life has changed over the years, and things look very different now, change isn't always a bad thing. Sometimes, a transformation is what you need to make your life full and complete.
Oh Christmas Tree, oh Christmas Tree, your branches green delight us. I can't wait to bring you home, and enjoy the glory that is the Christmas season once again!
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