The Worth of a Man

 I have been thinking about my dad a lot lately, especially this month.  He would have been 100 years old on January 4, and as of today, he has been gone 50 years, the same amount of time that he lived in this world.  It is sort of a weird milestone, one that most people don't have to ponder, and it has caused me to think about my dad maybe more than I normally would.

I wonder what he would think of this world of ours, if he could come back today and see it.  When he left us, we were in the midst of wrapping up the Vietnam War (that was the day before the peace accords were signed,) the Watergate hearings were in the news, Richard Nixon (remember him? Shady presidents are not a new thing) was inaugurated for the second time but already on shaking ground, and we were in the midst of the early 70's with free love, drugs and rock and roll.  I wonder what would he make of computers and a cell phone in every hand, big screen televisions, video games and the much fancier cars and trucks we drive?  And what about all the other changes in the lives of the people he loved the most?

Choosing Joy

 January is a gloomy month in Minnesota.  Well, really, I think its gloomy everywhere, but especially in Minnesota.  The holiday season is over, with nothing really fun on the horizon for months.  The weather is cold and frequently overcast.  I tend to get depressed from the confluence of several things at this time of year, and I am not that fun to be around.

In November, I decided to start each day thinking of something for which I am grateful.  It improved my attitude, and made my day better.  I shared my thoughts on my facebook page, and heard from a number of friends that they enjoyed my thoughts, and they actually looked forward to reading what I wrote each day.  (And I do thank you for that encouragement!  You have no idea what it means to a writer to hear that someone enjoyed what they wrote.)

Gratitude and hope

On January 2, 1962, I met my family for the first time.  I came fully dressed, with my own silverware (a Christmas gift from my foster grandmother, apparently!  We still have it, of course,) and already potty trained (a serious bonus if ever there was one!)  My social worker, who was bringing me to the meeting, was running late, and ran for the elevator my family had just stepped into.  My mother looked at me, and leaned over to whisper to my dad, "That's her!"  Our hearts met in that moment, and somehow, in this wide world, I was already theirs, and they were already mine.  

It strikes me as funny that they had to go "home" for the night, which for that night was actually my aunt and uncle's home, to think about whether or not they actually wanted to take me for keeps.  (Yes, the similarily to adopting a pet is not lost on me!  Haha!)  Mom spent the entire night sick with anxiety that something would go wrong, and somehow, I wouldn't be theirs after all.

An extraordinary woman....

 I have been blessed in my life to be surrounded by loving aunts and uncles galore.  Each of them was extra special to me, every one in their own unique way, and when I think of them, it is easy to remember the qualities that stand out for me in each one.   Every single one of them set an example for me of how to live well, how to behave towards others, how to be the best me I can be.  I can not fail if I simply follow the path set before me by these amazing people I am lucky enough to call my family.

Losing each one has been painful and difficult, but I always say this pain of loss is the price of loving someone deeply, and it is worth the cost, of course.  But that pain, in the moment, is hard, and I wish we never had to experience it.  But alas, no one lives forever, and this past week, I lost yet another person who helped form and shape my life in ways she probably didn't even know.

A Daughter for Life...

 I am sure that most mothers believe their daughter is the most special, most beautiful, most successful daughter in the world.  I am certainly no different.  When my daughter arrived 30 years ago, she changed my life completely, in ways I would never have imagined.  And I am so grateful for the journey, the adventure, of being her mom.  It has been such a privilege.